Friday, December 17, 2010

lots of excitement.

Exciting news:
  • I finished my first semester of graduate school! It was quite a relief actually. Ever since I decided to apply to graduate programs, I worried that I wasn't ready yet. When I got accepted, I was relieved temporarily, but when I started this semester, my worries exploded. I felt like I wasn't quite intelligent enough for graduate school and thought that I'd be kicked out by the end of the first semester. My GPA is actually higher than any one semester that I had as an undergrad. Now I can stop worrying and actually focus.
  • I wrote the best paper that I've ever written. I got a high A on it and am really impressed with what I did. I worked harder on that assignment than I've ever worked on anything.
  • School is over for the semester! I can read whatever I want for three entire weeks!
  • I started my new job and finished my training.
  • I watched Biggest Loser season 10 from start to finish. It was really inspiring.
  • Rejoined Weight Watchers, committed myself to my health again, not just my running. I've begun to lose weight again. I'm very excited to not be "overweight" anymore.
  • I have had some great work outs this week. Working out is incredible. I feel great (and sore and exhausted... haha.)
I just finished reading "Unbearable Lightness" by Portia de Rossi. As I have struggled with some similar problems with disordered eating and thinking. I have not dealt with it to the same extremes as Portia, but I have had some unhealthy behaviors, including purging and starving myself. I have struggled with weight problems since I was in middle school, when food became my comfort. When I got to high school, a close friend of mine really pushed weight loss. She would buy diet pills and hide them from her parents, taking them regularly. She would starve herself. She was obsessed with her weight and I became obsessed, too. I've had a lot of emotional problems for many years, and weight has just been a part of it. I'm really thankful that I've learned healthy ways to deal with my emotions, though I'm still struggling with living a more healthy lifestyle.

Reading memoirs that I can relate to, like "Unbearable Lightness" really fuels my passion and desire to write my own memoir. I have an endless number of stories that I can tell... and sometimes I feel like my stories will help someone in the ways that the stories of other people have helped me.

Anyways, I had a good run today and I'm very excited about it. I have to work tomorrow, so I won't have quite as much time to run, as it will be getting dark fairly soon after I get home. However, I'm back on track with my working out in other ways, so I'll be able to change it up a little.

Oh! And I can finally read some of my Runner's World magazines, because I have free time! Very exciting.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

time juggling

January is right around the corner.
In a little over a month, classes will be starting again, Christmas will be over... and I will have run my first full marathon.

Right now, I don't feel prepared. I feel stressed, overwhelmed, nervous, excited, glad, anticipatory... I am a jumble of emotions, I suppose. It's getting hard to train while working and worrying about school. I'm doing better with my training than I have been in the past few months. I'm actually making time for it... at least I'm trying to.

I've also made some changes in my habits. I rejoined Weight Watchers on Tuesday. I've been exercising more. I bought really healthy food yesterday. I stopped eating fast food again. I feel like slight changes will make a difference. I'm hoping that I get better into shape, because it's something that I definitely need to be getting more serious about.

The semester is so close to done. I have one huge paper to write and a presentation to work on for this week... then a take home final to work on for the week after. As soon as Monday is over and I have my test turned in, I think that I will feel a lot better about how much time I can devote to running. I'm going to do some major training over winter break... all I will have will be work... no classes, so that will be really exciting.

I don't know how people find time for so many activities in their lives. I'm not trying to juggle too much, but sometimes the little that I am trying to do can be overwhelming.

Monday, November 29, 2010

great motivators

So my last post was complainy, because I was beyond frustrated with my finishing time in the half marathon. I'm feeling a little bit better about it. Sometimes, you just have to pick yourself up off of the ground and keep going.. which is so true for running. Anyways, I was looking at my race finishing times today (in avoidance of finals studying...) and decided that I've come a really long way.

At this time two years ago, I was at my heaviest weight. Ever. That was 20 pounds ago. I still have more weight that I want to use and I still have a long way to go with my running in order to be at my best, but I've done a lot in the past two years that I'm impressed with.

So I want to share my times:
Fort 4 Fitness half marathon [sept 2009]: 3:15:52
Indianapolis Monumental half marathon [nov 2009]: 2:55:49.6
3 Rivers Festival Runners on Parade 5k [july 2010]: 38:37.0
Jacksonville Outback Distance Classic half marathon [nov 2010]: 3:04:00

I have my most difficult running challenge coming up in January: Goofy's Race and a Half Challenge at Disney World. 39.3 miles in two days. It will be my first full marathon and my first absolutely insane decision regarding running. I'm nervous, excited, scared, happy...

Anyways... I need to train. I know that I can run the distance, but I don't want to be completely frustrated with myself. So yeah.

It's humbling to share my finishing times, that's for sure. I love races... I'm definitely not the fastest girl or the most in shape girl out there, but I am strong willed. I can finish what I put my mind to.

"Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it."

-Oprah Winfrey

Ok back to studying.

Friday, November 26, 2010

I'm at a fork in the road.

Yesterday, I ran a mini-marathon. It was my little turkey trot, a Thanksgiving celebration that I decided to participate in, as my typical traditions would not go as usual. Moving 1000 miles away will change things like that.

Anyways, in a combination of work, school, and general laziness, I have been extremely slack in my running. Actually, I've been beyond slacking in my running. I've had hundreds of excuses. Maybe some of the excuses have been logical. Excuses, however... are just that. Excuses. There's no reason for me to be lacking as much as I have in my running. There's no reason that, if I feel uncomfortable running after dark, that I don't go somewhere with plenty of street lamps or even to a gym. As a student, I have free access to a gym. I have not gone once since I moved.

My race performance yesterday was terrible. I struggled almost the entire way and was more than disappointed in my time. My finishing time was decent for an average, beginning runner, but I'm not a beginning runner anymore. My pace has to improve and the only way to do that is to get out there and work at it.

Somehow, I need to align my expectations with my goals and accomplish them. My work ethic just has not been where it needs to be and I've got to figure out a way to align everything, I guess.

Anyways, official finishing time: 3:04.00.

I ran with Kath. I felt like I was holding her back for a while, which was because I was becoming so so frustrated with myself throughout the race, as I just COULD NOT keep my pace.

I'm just at a stopping place right now. I'm at a fork in the road. I have to make a change. Sometimes, I feel like making a change is more difficult than going down the same, lazy, pathetic path. It just isn't easy right now. I'm going to have to figure something out soon.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

National Epilepsy Awareness Month: Get Seizure Smart

The focus of this blog is to write about my running experiences and to share those with other people- runners and nonrunners. It is to complain about my frustrations and gloat about my accomplishments- in the running realm, primarily. However, I can't always focus on my running.

August 29, 1997. My dad, my childhood hero, was pronounced dead. We don't know the exact date of his death, probably a few days before that, as he lived alone, but didn't show up to work the 28th or the 29th. He didn't come to pick my brother and me up on Friday the 29th, so my grandparents took us to see what was going on. He was already dead. I was ten years old.

The first time I heard about epilepsy was a few months before that. My dad, brother, and I were playing a video game in the living room. I remember my dad getting up and leaving without saying anything, which was unusual. When he'd go to the bathroom or go out for a smoke, he would tell us, especially if we were playing together. For some reason, I didn't follow him. I heard weird noises coming from the back of the house, noises I hadn't heard before. It scared me, but I felt like I should continue playing with my brother. I felt protective of him and didn't want him to be fearful, too. I'm not sure how much time passed before he came back, but he did. We played more games together and, eventually, went to bed.

My dad knew that I couldn't sleep. I must have been an overly sensitive child, because after my brother had been asleep for hours, my dad came in to talk to me. He explained that he was sick. He told me about the medication he had to take to help his brain work correctly. He explained seizures to me, epilepsy... I felt relieved that he was on his medication, that it helped him, and that he didn't have seizures very often. I felt like I was prepared to handle it if he was to have a seizure in front of me. In retrospect, his explanation could not have prepared me to watch him have a seizure, but I felt like I was ready. To a point, my fears were calmed.

After he died, I went back to that conversation time and time again. For years, I wondered if I had reminded him of his medication or if I had been there, maybe he would not have died. For more than ten years, I blamed myself for his death (there are hundreds of reasons for that, but I'm not going to list them here). As I got older, I knew that it was not my fault that he had the seizure, that it was horrible, or that he hit his head and had bleeding in his brain. I still blamed myself, not the epilepsy.

In the fall of 2008, I was overwhelmed constantly. I was supposed to be in my last year of college, but I had just changed my major. I had two jobs and was sometimes working 55 hours a week.. I'd be at work until 2 in the morning and then had to work again at 8 the next morning, followed by classes, then going back to work. It was a really difficult time in my life. By November, I started having strange deja vu episodes. I didn't have a name for them, but I knew they weren't normal.

Each time, my episodes were the same. I would have a moment of deja vu, followed by a hallucination like experience. These episodes occured regularly, several times a day, sometimes in class, sometimes at work, sometimes in the shower, sometimes doing homework, sometimes just sitting around. I tried to hide them, but I know that my roommates noticed.

A Monday in February 2009, I was at work chopping lettuce. I was joking with my friends about something and being teased, nothing unusual. I had the same deja vu experience that I typically had, but my vision began to get blurry. I remember that I was with it enough for a moment to think about my vision getting blurry. The next thing I remember is waking up. I was laying on the floor and a group of people were standing around me in a circle. Someone said something about a seizure, someone else said I probably hadn't eaten breakfast.. everybody had a theory about why I "passed out." Naturally, I got defensive and argued with my coworkers AND supervisors about it. Ha.

After going to the campus health center and the emergency room, I was diagnosed with..... syncope. So, I passed out. Epilepsy, however, stuck in my mind. I had an EEG, a CAT scan, wore a heart monitor for a few days, among other tests. I was in my hometown every weekend seeing doctors. All of my tests came back normal.

However, I read a LOT about epilepsy after that. I felt like it fit, even though all of my tests were normal. I was the only one who was experiencing what I was experiencing. I was the only one who knew every detail and every single thing that I felt.

At the end of June, I had another seizure. This time, it was in my sleep. The frightening noises woke up my roommate and she watched it happen. She also wrote down, in detail, what she saw, so that I could tell the doctors that I would be seeing what happened. I went back to the emergency room- this time at a hospital in my hometown instead of the one near my campus. More tests... and a diagnosis. I have partial complex temporal lobe seizures.

That diagnosis broke me for a long time. Internally, I knew that I had epilepsy since I started researching it. It just hurt to have it. It made me feel further away from everybody that I knew. I was angry that my dad was not there to talk about it- I felt like he was the only person who might understand what I was experiencing. I was frustrated with my loss of independence- I couldn't drive anymore, I was worried to do much on my own, I had to start taking medication that made my brain feel strange for a while... It made me feel alone, frustrated, angry, and upset. I continued to read about it... almost every day. I started to joke about seizures with some of my coworkers, I started to talk about my experiences with people that I knew. That started to help me accept what I was going through. I slowly became less angry.

It's been more than a year now and I've come to terms with my diagnosis. I can drive again, I've run two half marathons, I've lost weight, I moved across the country, I'm in graduate school... and I'm trying to better myself. It's not perfect. I'm still angry. I don't want to be on the medication that I'm on. I don't want to have to think about seizures every day for the rest of my life. That's just reality.

I am bothered, though. The general public just does not know about epilepsy. People have a ton of misconceptions about seizures. Some people don't understand what a seizure is. It is National Epilepsy Awareness month, yet many people just don't know the facts.

In honor of my father, I want to help educate people. I think that sharing my experiences can help overall awareness and help people understand seizures.

Thursday, October 7, 2010


Things that motivate me to better myself:
  • Biggest Loser. I watched the newest episode online today and cried my way through it. The kind of motivation and dedication that I see through many of those contestants is moving. I wish either Jillian or Bob was my personal trainer. Ha.
  • My best friend. I'm fortunate that Katherine moved with me and lives with me. Sometimes, I KNOW I wouldn't push myself to go out and run, but she helps to motivate me. I know that we're not in the same place fitness-wise, but she's a great motivator when I need her to be. She even tries to not get mad at me when I become frustrated with myself.
  • Races. Signing up for races. Thinking about registering for races. Racing. Hearing about races.
  • My classes. I enjoy being a graduate student and working towards doing something big in my life. I can see things coming together.
  • My job. I'm disappointed that I'm not using either of my degrees and I work someplace that I could have worked with just a high school diploma, but that helps me to be able to push myself harder. At some point, I will have a job that I LOVE. I just hope it's sooner rather than later.
  • Social media. That sounds weird. But I'm motivated by blogs, my facebook friends, people on twitter. Sharing what some people are doing or are attempting to accomplish can help me to view my life in different ways. In that way, I'm learning through other people that I would not have been able to learn from ten years ago. It's amazing.
  • Reading. I LOVE to learn. I can't go into a bookstore without buying a book. I have a mile long list of things that I want to read. I research everything. If I have a question, I find the answer... but I go beyond. I find every detail that I can about particular topics or ideas until I fully comprehend them.
There are more. I've been feeling frustrated with myself and not so motivated lately, but it's helpful to think about the things that DO help me to move forward.

So far: 572.65 miles
To go: 427.35 miles

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Disappointed in myself.

Today and yesterday have been pretty overwhelming and a little crazy. I did end up running tonight though, which I 'm proud of. I wanted to just run one mile and push myself as hard as I could... run as fast as possible and finish with a great time.


I ran as hard as I felt like I could, but at the same time, I wish I would have run harder, faster. I didn't PR, which was an important goal that I set for myself.

No excuses. I worked today, I have been feeling sort of epileptic today, I have been exhausted today. However, none of that is a good excuse. I only ran a little over a mile. I could have run faster.. ten seconds and I would have made it. Oh well.

Next time I will push myself harder.

So far: 569.63
To go: 430.37

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Long run. Now sore and tired.

I'm exhausted and drained.
Usually two emotions that would convince me to lay in bed and NOT run. But I ran today. I came home from work exhausted after not sleeping well last night and I actually ran. Nobody was home to push me & I'm glad that I did it.
Today I ran further than I have since August 20. (thank you for the nice graph, Nike+) I set a few goals for myself that I didn't accomplish. I wanted to cut time off of my mile PR and ran like 6 seconds longer than my PR, which was disappointing, but at least I pushed myself.
I pushed myself very hard, which I'm okay with. I'm disappointed with the place I am in my running and with my pacing, but those are things that I have to work on in order to improve, I guess. There's not much improvement in sitting around all of the time. It's about prioritizing, I think.

Nothing impressive or thought envoking from me today. I'm too tired & I still have lots of reading to do before tomorrow's class.
Oh. & Happy Birthday to me in 45 minutes.

Goal: 568.61 miles
To go: 431.39 miles

Friday, October 1, 2010


I had a really tough day today. Well, class wasn't terrible, but I've been drained since I woke up and it was tough for me to even get out of bed. Then I studied some, went to class, came home... exciting.

Again, I didn't feel like running. I wanted to just go to bed. With a little push from Kath, I got out of bed and went for a run. We walked a few laps around the apartment complex, before running a few laps. I did take it fairly easy, but at the end, I did push myself a little. When I was running, I was exhausted, but I did run and I did accomplish some of my goals. I didn't quite reach the 5 miles that I wanted to run today, but I got close, which was pretty good for being in a bad mood.

After running, I used the Wii Active again. It wasn't quite as rough as yesterday, though my limbs are still a little achy from yesterday's work out. It was a little bit tough, just because I was sore, but I had more confidence and was able to push through a little bit better than I did before. I'm impressed with myself.

Tomorrow is going to be a crazy day. I have 11 hours of work ahead of me, which means that going for a run will probably not be on the radar. However, I'm going to try to get some time in on the Wii. I wish I had gym equiptment in my apartment, because the hours at the gym at my apartment complex are really inconvienent, particularly on the weekends. Oh well, though, that's something that I can work on figuring out in due time.

Anyways, today was slightly more positive, though my day was a rough one. I'm looking forward to more positivity in the future.

So far: 558.79 miles
To go: 441.21

Thursday, September 30, 2010

struggling today.

I don't know why I struggle so much. It's not that I'm lazy per se. I'm doing a million different things, which exhausts me. Maybe it's priorities.

I've heard about having an accountability partner, especially when talking to some of my more religious friends. Many have someone that can be there to support them and keep them going in their spiritual journey. I probably need a spiritual accountability partner, too, but I'm really focusing on exercising right now.

When I'm running, I don't push myself as hard as I could... I don't work to my potential. That's the reality of it. Only once or twice have I actually pushed myself AS HARD as I could possibly push myself. That's sad. I do push myself when I'm lifting weights, sometimes beyond what is neccessary, but I don't lift as often as I have in the past. I've never pushed myself as hard as I could. I guess that is something that I should work on, but I don't trust myself to do it on my own. I set goals for myself and I don't always follow through with them. When I am running, I do combine it with walking. Sometimes, I walk more than I need to. I know that I can push myself further and run harder than I normally do. Maybe I'm lazy. Maybe I'm just struggling. I don't know what the problem is.

I also don't know an easy solution.

I worked out really hard tonight on the Wii... using Wii Active. I pushed myself harder than I have in a long time... I was getting REALLY mad at the game, though. Really mad. I'm exhausted and I smell horrible. My legs feel like jello. I wasn't even going to work out at all today, but I started watching Biggest Loser online, because I don't have cable and didn't watch yesterday. Something about watching clicked something in me, though. Those people are far worse off than I am, but they push themselves a hundred times harder. I guess that's something that I want to work toward.

I do want this. I want to be a runner. I want to push myself. HARD. I want to be able to give it my all without giving up. I want to stop being frustrated with my times, with my weight, with my eating habits. Obviously that takes some changes that I have to make within myself.

I just wish it could be that easy.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Finding inspiration within.

Today was a fairly short run, as I didn't sleep well last night. Since I didn't sleep well, I ended up sleeping later than I anticipated this morning. My sleep habits are really screwed up right now. It needs to change, because my sleep affects my feelings, emotions, stress, motivation.... and on and on.

A few years ago, when I was working at Bob Evans and going to school, I talked to a manager about how I was struggling with my work schedule and my school schedule together. She wasn't too receptive and didn't cut my hours, because I was, apparently, a great worker. Blah blah blah. It got me thinking, though. To your boss, work comes first, to your profs, school comes first. Where is the happy medium? I believe that I've found my happy medium... in a mix of school and work, among other things. School is constantly at the forefront of my mind. Being a grad student, I'm SO concerned about school, about studying, about my grades... it's the most important thing to me at this point in my life. However, work is important, too. I've got to have money in order to pay my bills, to go to school, to exist fully. I didn't move 900 miles to run out of money and move back. This is a huge deal.

Coming between school and work in my "list of important things in my life" is running. I never thought that running would become such a large part of my life. It did. I do struggle with it from time to time. I struggle with motivation. Running helps me to have a release. I often run with Katherine, which is nice. We don't have a lot of free time together and running helps us to have some time to talk and spend time together in a busy existance. Running by myself helps me to clear my head, much like writing has for years and years. Obviously it also has other positives too... like health, exercise, endorphins...

It's inspiring to be able to write about my running. I've always fancied myself a writer... since I was 11 or 12 when I started writing poetry. Before that, I wrote some stories and wanted to grow up to be a writer, but the middle school angsty poetry was what really made me feel like I had gotten to that point. Now I'm blogging, I've taken a ton of creative writing classes, I love to write and I want to do something with my writing to live off of forever. I feel like this blog is the beginning of that. I CAN write about running... no two runs are the same. Obviously, some runs have more interesting information and can make for more readable entries than others, but there is an abundant amount of information to share about running. One of my hopes is that, through my writing, I'm able to inspire both MYSELF and other people. I'm mostly hoping to inspire myself, because that is clearly a more feasible dream at this point.

Anyways, I'm kind of going on and on. I've found two runs that I'm interestedin running in November. Both are in Florida. I'm hoping to meet other Florida ...Orlando specifically... runners and to build some sort of a running support group. I've been briefly looking at different running clubs. I'd just really like to meet other runners down here.

Anyways, my run today was short, as I previously mentioned. I ran a little over 2 miles with Kath, which was great, because, honestly, I didn't feel like running at all. I'm so glad that we went. Tomorrow, I have a huge test that I'm really nervous about. After that, I'm hoping to run 5 or 6 miles. I need to get my mileage up if I want to run a half marathon in two months!

So far: 554.19 miles
To go: 445.81

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Back at it.

I don't even know if I remember how to blog. haha. It has been a really long time.

I haven't written since I moved to Florida. My life has changed drastically since I moved. On the move down, my best friend/roommate got in a pretty terrifying wreck with a semi truck, which I watched in my rearview mirror. She is okay, her car got totalled, and I had some pretty high anxiety from it for a few weeks.

I had trouble finding a job. Grad school started. Then I found a job. Now, I just feel so busy. When I'm not in class, I'm working. When I'm not in class OR working, I'm studying. My sleeping has been slightly compromised. It's a life change. Graduate school is nothing like undergrad.

Once I stopped updating, I sort of didn't feel like updating anymore. I'm going to change that though. I'm really proud of this blog.

I have been running, however. Not nearly as often as I should be, particularly because I should be in the midst of some serious training. I'm working on that, though. I've run several times in the last week, as opposed to a few times over a midst of a few weeks. I'm going to try to make a serious schedule of my working/running/training/class/studying, so that I'm able to make a plan and stick to it.

I guess that I'm wondering about motivation. A huge motivator for me has been weight loss & upcoming races. However, right now, I'm kind of at a stagnant place in my weight. I have more to lose, but I'm just stuck. Also, my next race isn't until January, which feels far off right now. I'm trying to find a race in the next month or two to kick start my motivation. I just need to find new ways to motivate myself, I guess.

So far: 551.62 miles
To go: 448.38 miles

Friday, July 23, 2010

Packing, Moving, and Running... exhausting combination.

I've run a few times in the past few days without updating. That breaks my number one blogging rule, but I am trying to get things done to prepare for my 900 mile road trip/move this weekend.

I might update tomorrow, because I WILL be running tomorrow, but I have a ton to get done to finish up packing because I'm loading up and leaving EARLY Saturday morning. Moving to Florida hasn't felt real until now, actually. ha.

My run tonight was fairly exhausting. I'm worn out, burned out, exhausted. I still did my long run, which I'm proud of. Sometimes, I'd rather just go to bed than go for a run, especially because I'm so stressed out getting things together for my move.

I need to get more long runs in. I can think better and I'm definitely more calm after I go for a run... typically, that is. I don't know what it is. While I'm running, I think more freely and, though I'm usually pushing myself pretty hard and am tired, I can calm my brain down. Usually, my brain and thoughts are going a mile a minute, which can be overwhelming. Physical activity definitely helps, though. I guess I never thought that running would be my activity of choice. I still feel like I'm a swimmer at heart, but I'm not as attached to the thought that I am a swimmer as I once was. I'm more open to new opportunities, I guess.

As long as I find a decent job, I'm going to register to do the Wine&Dine at Disney World this October. It's a half marathon and is the weekend before my birthday. I think it would be really fun. I might be able to convince Katherine to race with me... but we'll see about that. :)

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 430.23 miles/261 days
To go: 569.77 miles/104 days

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Still achy...

My body still hurts some from my day at the lake over the weekend. I think that I may have pushed myself to a limit of some sort. I'm feeling a lot better than I was Monday and yesterday, though. I'm definitely glad about that, because I have to work long days for the next three days. Ugh.

Since I'm still achy, I decided to take it pretty easy tonight. I combined walking with my running and made sure that my running was at a decently slow pace so that I didn't push myself too hard. I'm glad that I did, so that hopefully I can get in a few really good runs in the next week and a half before I move.

The move is coming up really quickly! It's crazy. My running stuff will be one of the last things that I pack and the first that I unpack.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 419.38 miles/253 days
To go: 580.62 days/112 days

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Race Report: TRF Runners on Parade '10 (and more)

So, on Saturday, I ran the Three Rivers Festival Runners on Parade. Basically, it was a 5k that runs part of a parade route that officially starts the Three Rivers Festival in Fort Wayne, which is my favorite festival in my hometown and has been since I was really young. It was also the first race that I participated in in 2010, not to mention my first ever 5k. A lot of firsts. Running a first 5k also means your first official PR. lol. However, I can't find any official results online, which is a little disappointing, but I had my Nike+, which helps me to see my time.

It was really tough to get to the race. With the parade starting, parking in downtown Fort Wayne was a mess. I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before- Andi, Katherine, and I decided to have a sleepover and pretend we were back in high school... lol. I eventually got to the race and realized I had left my iPod in the car. Ugh! Andi actually went back to get it for me and got it to the start like a few minutes before it was time to start.

I had two goals for the race: run the whole thing without any walking, which I didn't end up doing. I haven't really trained much in a long time, so I had to walk some. I also wanted to average about 12 minute miles, which I DID accomplish. According to my Nike+, I ran 11.53 miles, which is awesome. Actually, at the end, my iPod let me know that I had run my fastest mile so far. (I've only had the device since May, so it's probably not my fastest ever mile, but still...). I'm really impressed with how it turned out.

The race was a lot tougher than I thought it would be. I feel like I'm better trained for longer distances, which is weird to me. I felt like I was just getting into my groove at the end, so I could have gone longer and faster. It was a new experience for me, for sure, but maybe one that I won't be participating in a lot. The first few miles of any race are usually the most difficult for me, which probably had something to do with my frustration... plus I couldn't run the whole thing without stopping which also was stressing me out. It's nice, though, to have people at the end who are specifically cheering for me. Kath and Andi were at the finish line waiting, which was a great feeling.

I always feel like the finish is the best part of the race, with the crowds excited and cheering. One thing that propelled me through this particular race was the fact that there were SO many people there. They were there to watch the parade, as the route ran through part of the parade route, but it still felt like they had interest in watching us race. That was really meaningful to me.

I do wish that I could have run with someone again. It's not the same... running by yourself and running with a companion. I really enjoy running with someone, so it was strange to be by myself. Even the last race that I ran... I technically ran at my own pace, but I knew that both my mom and Katherine were also running. It was just strange to realize how solitary racing can be, even in big groups. Something to think about, I guess.

I've run a few miles since then, but I didn't run yesterday because I went to my grandparents' lake house... and went skiing and tubing. Now my entire body aches... Ugh. Just what I need!

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 412.23 miles/251 days
To go: 587.77 miles/114 days

Friday, July 9, 2010

Sore legs, but 400 miles down!

So apparently the EasyTones work. I'm so sore. Actually, it didn't start hurting until tonight while I was running. Hmph. I didn't think I would be able to finish my run tonight, but I've cut too many runs short lately, so I pushed through. I ended up walking a lot of it, which was disappointing, but not terrible, considering that I almost gave up. I'm proud of myself that I endured.

Saturday is my first 5k! I've run two half marathons and am running a full in January, but I've never run a 5k. I suppose that's somewhat interesting. I'm a little nervous about it. It's in my hometown and a lot of my family will be there, along with Katherine and her mom. After the race is the 3 Rivers Parade, which kicks off the 3 Rivers Festival, which has been my FAVORITE festival ever. I've gone pretty much every year since I was very young... last year I worked in a trailer selling ice cream, but this year I'll be back in attendance, which will be incredible. I'm really excited. But back to the 5k. The 3 Rivers Runners on Parade 5k will be my first race of the 2010, so I'm excited (and nervous and hoping my legs will stop aching before Saturday).

I'm starting to get nervous about running Goofy's Challenge in January. My training isn't quite where I want it to be and I realize that I still have some time to keep working at it. It just makes me nervous that I won't be completely ready by then. I'm probably just overanalyzing myself. I'm good at that.

I'm planning a long run this week on either Tuesday or Wednesday, maybe both days, but probably not. I have both days off this week, which is unusual for me, but that's alright. I need to get a couple good runs in before I move away. I'm starting to get a little nostalgic about my time in Indiana, but I'm excited to move and get adjusted to a new place and environment.

I'm taking tomorrow off from running to relax my muscles. Then Saturday is the race!

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 401.63 miles/247 days
To go: 598.37 miles/118 days

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Ozone Warning.

I ran again tonight after work. It was late, but that's okay. I ended up running on the treadmill, which is a little disappointing, but that's okay. Treadmills do come in handy every once in a while. I just don't really enjoy using them as a regular method of working out.

There was apparently an ozone warning this afternoon. I guess I should have checked out the weather before I actually left. No wonder I drank my entire water bottle in half an hour. It's good that I decided to bring it with me.  Oh well, though. I'm a little glad that I didn't decide to try to run really hard and far today. In the next few days, I'll be able to run in the evenings, which will be nice. It will be cooler outside, but still light out.

Oh well. Bedtime.

Oh! I'm excited that Kath is seeing a podiatrist tomorrow, finally. She might be able to find out what is wrong with her foot. We're hoping that it's something that can easily be helped so that she can get out and start running again. I'm trying to convince her to run a half with me in October.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 396.31 miles/246 days
To go: 603.69 miles/119 days

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


It's HOT out.

I need to start setting my alarm early to go running outside, because I'm becoming exhausted of running on the treadmill late after work. It's not quite what I wanted for my summer running. I guess that running early is what it's going to have to be. Somehow. ha.

I ran 2.25 miles in 30 minutes, which is decent timing for the heat, but wasn't the distance that I wanted. I just couldn't keep going. Or maybe that's too much negativity. Maybe I could have kept going, but I just didn't. I'm not sure.

Anyways, 5k on Saturday morning. It'll be a part of my big Indiana goodbye. I'm excited!

I have to get ready for work now. I'm going to go for another run tonight.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 392.69 miles/246 days
To go: 607.31 miles/119 days

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

slow and steady wins the race

Something hit me the other day. I looked at my bank account and thought about all of the money that I have been spending on horribly unhealthy choices, specfically on fast food. Fast food does not help me in my goal.. at all. It is keeping my motivation down, keeps my health and weight stagnant, and does not allow me to get to the point that I want to be at... the point in which I FEEL that I should be. I'm not there. I cannot continue to eat like that. Not only that, but fast food is ridiculously expensive. I've been saving money for a long time for grad school and I would have, probably, a thousand dollars more if I was eating healthily. It's something that I really want to and need to stick to. I don't know why it's so hard for me. I've been working on this for over a year now, on this health thing, on running. I don't know why it's still hard. I feel like I should be an expert by now, but I'm not. It's a process and I'm still working on it.

I bought Reebok EasyTones today. I wore them while walking around at the mall for a few hours. I hope that they help my legs, too. I'm proud of the work that I've done so far on my legs, but I'm excited for the way the shoes might be able to help me even further in my process. Tomorrow, I'm going to wear them to work. I'll probably be sore, because I went for a pretty long run tonight and wore the shoes for several hours today, on top of the fact that I will be wearing them tomorrow. It might be interesting.

My run today was REALLY awesome. I actually feel like I'm on my way to training for Goofy's Challenge in January. I was able to run/walk more than 7 miles, which was incredible. I'm really excited about how well it went. I'm looking forward to doing a 10 or 11 mile run later this week.. actually, that will probably be tomorrow. I'm going to write out my weekly running plan while I'm at work tomorrow, because these next few weeks are going to be ridiculous with my running and working... and MOVING. I move to Orlando in less than 3 weeks now. I'm starting to freak out, actually.

I just want to mention that I am getting proud of my leg muscles.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 390.44 miles/244 days
To go: 609.56 miles/121 days

Friday, July 2, 2010

Two Days in a Row! Motivation might be back!

I love a run when it is tough, but wonderful all in one. That's what tonight's run was. Thank goodness. Nights like tonight help propel me forward, because my motivation has been so low lately. I'm thankful that I actually ran, though I felt like sleeping, and that it was great. That will help motivate me to continue running tomorrow and days after that.

Someone left me a treat in my show today. I didn't notice until I had just begun to run that I had something in my shoe. When I took it off, I found an earring. I have two suspects likely suspects. Though, I must admit that both are entirely too adorable to get in trouble for anything like that. Ever. haha.



If it weren't for my awesome friend Katherine, I would not have actually made it to the gym after work today. I'm thankful that she pushed me, though, because I had a great run. She can't even run because of her foot pains, but she sat down there with me while I ran on the treadmill (I left for work at 9:15 this morning and was only home for 20 minutes before 11:15. No joke. It was too late to run outside.). That's dedication, though.

My run was longer than yesterday's, but not quite to the point that I want to be at yet. I'm looking for some races this fall, because this summer ended up busier than I anticipated, work wise, and I didn't actually register for any summer races. (disappointment.) I know of at least one race that I'm interested in, but I'm going to try to find the best deal, because finances are important. I feel like races help me to remain motivated, especially when it's hard to push myself. Research, research, research.

Definitely excited that I ran again today. July & I are off to a good start!

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 381.92 miles/239 days
To go: 618.08 miles/126 days

Thursday, July 1, 2010

back at it.

Motivation has been tough to come by lately, which has had more of an affect on my endurance than I expected.

Running today was really tough. I cut my run in half, which was disappointing. I'm going to have to start working my way up toward running long distances again, which I'm really disappointed about. I'm still going to hold onto my goal of getting to 500 miles before I move. I would really like to finally have gotten to that point. It's not TOO far away. It's manageable... as long as I can get myself out there and run more. I don't know. I can do it. With motivation.

There were a few reasons that my run was so tough today. First, I have horrible cramps today. Horrible. Second, related to said cramps, I woke up after four hours of sleep with cramps and could not go back to sleep. It was awful. I'm exhausted and my body aches. Not a good day to start up running again after not doing it for a while.

I'm going to get out my planner and, next to my work schedule, physically write down my planned mileage for each day. I think that it will be a lot easier to be motivated to follow through if I have a plan. It's hard when I just tell myself that I should run, but then I end up not actually doing it.

In other news, my butt muscle hasn't been hurting lately. We'll see how it feels after I work 12ish hours for 4 days in a row. Hopefully, I'm cured.

Exciting! Katherine sees a podiatrist next week so my running partner might become healed and more able to hold me accountable for my running! Woohoo!

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 375.16 miles/238 days
To go: 624.84 miles/127 days

Friday, June 25, 2010

motivation back (sort of.)

I've been lacking in motivation for the last month or so, but I finally got a run in today. My June running has been disappointing, overall. Between my packing, working, and my muscle strain, I just haven't been able to find the motivation to run. However, I'm turning over a new leaf... today, because it's a little over 6 months until Goofy's Challenge & I'm going to find a half marathon to run in October or November, which will give me adequate time to train, since I haven't run much lately.

My run went okay. I'm exhausted, but that's alright. It's a good exhaustion, I think. I'm looking forward to running again tomorrow night. :)

I really want to get to 500 miles before my move. If I don't make that, I'm concerned that I won't actually finish my goal........ or be able to complete Goofy's Challenge. It's all connected.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 369.12 miles/231 days
To go: 630.88 miles/134 days

Friday, June 11, 2010

Long days equal shorter runs

Ugh!!! Today I was hoping for a long run, but my work schedule did not agree. I ended up working a double, even though I didn't want to. After over ten hours of work and a lot of driving, I was exhausted. I did run, though, but it was tough.

One thing that frustrates me is that my body already feels achy after I work for several hours, so it becomes really tough to run a decent amount of miles. Sometimes I wonder if it's better to push through or to give up and take it easy. Something to ponder.

Tomorrow, I work 12ish hours and hope to get a few miles in. We'll see how it goes.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 362.62 miles/216 days
To go: 637.38 miles/149 days

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Starting The New Month With A Long Run :)

Thanks for all of the advice on my last post. I bought some BodyGlide today and I also bought some spandex shorts to wear under my actual running shorts. I ended up forgetting that about the BodyGlide when I left for my work out. When I arrived at my running route for the day, I realized that I didn't have it. There was no way that I was going to go back, though, because I was already starting my run later than I prefer to run outside. I also didn't want to run on the treadmill today, because it's probably going to be really rainy/thunderstormy tomorrow- which might force me to end up on the treadmill... So I didn't go back. I did wear my new spandex shorts, though, which really helped a lot. I'm excited about it. I had a little bit of irritation a few times, but it was nothing compared to the chafing that I've been dealing with lately. I'm excited to use the BodyGlide and see how it works. Tomorrow.

My goal for today was to run 9 miles. I set a goal to PR by like 12 or 13 minutes and finish in an hour and fifty minutes. During the first mile, I felt like I was having cramps, so I slowed my pace down a little for a mile, which ended up slowing me down (and I snuck into a building and used the bathroom for a few minutes to try to help). I tried to compensate for the rest of my run. I wasn't really able to, though I did feel better after about 30 minutes, so that wasn't too bad. I ended up finishing 9 miles in 1 hour and 57 minutes... and added a few more minutes to get to my car. I'm actually pretty impressed with that time. It's still a PR and it's still 9 miles in under 2 hours, which is awesome.

This morning was a little bit rough for me. I had an appointment with my eye doctor, which took three hours, no exaggeration. I also had some other stuff going on that was a little bit frustrating/upsetting, so, naturally, I went to the sports store to get some new running stuff. I got three new pairs of shorts, which I really needed and the BodyGlide, which I already discussed. I'm pretty excited about it, even though it ended up being a pretty expensive shopping trip. That's alright, I guess, because I hardly spend money on myself, besides gas in my car, groceries, and supplies for the cat. Another positive is that I get paid in a few days and I've been working more lately, so my next several checks should be pretty awesome. (I think & hope... haha)

My run today, though I had some bad cramping, was awesome. I really feel like I'm on my way to be prepared to run a full marathon. I'm still itching to find a race this summer, but I know that I can finish Goofy's Challenge in January. I've set myself to this huge goal and I know that I can accomplish it if I keep working at it the way that I have been. It has been really tough to make the time for running when I've felt like I have had a million other things going on, but every time that I run, I feel accomplished. It's a really good feeling to be able to do something like this... make goals and follow through. If I can do this, I can do so many other things.

One thing that I need to work on is crosstraining. I've lifted a few times when I've been on the treadmill, but I'm in the gym less and less often. I also would like to get in the pool a few more times before I move away. I'm sure I can swim and use fitness areas for free at UCF, too, but that's still two months away. Also, when I swim, I have usually ridden my bike to campus when I've gone to swim. That's another form of crosstraining. I really need to work on making an effort to crosstrain. Somehow, I have to find the time for that... among a million other things. ha.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 356.93 miles/206 days
To go: 643.07 miles/159 days

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Exhausting Run Today. Ugh...

I'm so worn out. I ran this afternoon and it was ridiculously hot out. I did surpass my goal, though my pace was reeeally slow. I'm a little bit disappointed, but that's alright. My best is all that I can do. I just really struggled today. I'm glad that I actually went for a run, though, because sometimes when I feel worn out, I don't go at all. I'm thankful that I got out there.

I'm just not sure how to get used to the heat, because it's definitely going to be hot out for the rest of the summer. Then I'm moving to Florida, which will also be warm fairly consistently. I'm going to have to get accustomed to it... somehow. I'm going to have to find a small water bottle that I can carry while I run, because I get very parched. I felt like my entire mouth was drying out. The only way I can get away without carrying a little bit of water with me is if someone sets up water tables for me while I run.

Speaking of water tables, I went for a run a few weeks ago during a time when a bunch of garage sales were going on. A little girl, probably six or seven, had a lemonade stand out. She looked like she thought I would buy some lemonade for her, but I was not carrying any change with me. I wish that I had, though.

I tried a new route today. It was more in the sun than my usual route. The route that I normally run is more in the shade and in a less populated area. Today I just decided to run out of my apartment and run down some streets around me, rather than to drive somewhere. I guess it might have been a better idea to run in the shade, but I wasn't thinking about the sun and the heat when I left. That was dumb. Oh well.

I also lubed up my thighs, because I've had some chaffing since I switched from pants to shorts when I run. However, it seemed like the vaseline wasn't 100% effective. Toward the end of the run, I felt my thighs sticking together again. I'm not sure what to do. Maybe I need to use more vaseline. I don't know. humm...

Now I have to get ready for work... after work, I think I'm going to rest and relax a little bit... or I might go down to the gym and lift. I'm not sure yet.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 347.81 miles/204 days
To go: 652.19 miles/161 days

Finding motivation

I've, once again, been busy to exhaustion lately. My muscle has been okay for the most part and I'm still treating it with what I read online- with the heating and cooling thing and with ibuprofen. If it gets worse, I will have to see a doctor. Right now, I'm okay though. I've been really cautious at work with lifting boxes and tubs of ice cream and mix. So far, so good. It's hard to just find some other way to do my job at work, because, when I'm there, I'm the only one making ice cream. That's a lot of lifting on my shoulders.

I've been trying to think of ways to regain and maintain motivation. I've been reading a lot of running books, which have been really great. Right now, I'm reading "The Runner's Rule Book" by Mark Remy and I LOVE it. The book is a pretty easy read, is full of really interesting information, while being comical and lighthearted. There is interesting and useful information combined with humor. I really like that it's an easy read, because my brain has been fried recently. Reading books about running has helped me regain motivation, which I'm glad for.

Another way that I'm working on maintaining motivation is to continue running daily, even if it is just for a few miles. Sometimes, I feel like I just don't have the time to go for a long run... and that's because I'm busy much of the time. I still have two jobs, I'm still packing my apartment to move across the country, I'm reading some, getting ready to start graduate school in a few months, and I'm still running a lot. All of it is exhausting. However, running daily helps me to calm down and feel accomplished. I made myself a chart through the middle of July to help me keep running and training for races. I'd like to do the trathlon in July. I'm 90% sure that I'm going to register for it. It's just going to take some further training. I know that I have it in me, somewhere deep down. haha.

Making a chart of my mileage is going to really help me maintain motivation. I put it on the fridge so that I see it regularly and can think about it when I'm just getting up in the morning. I'm also going to write it in my day planner, too, because I write everything in it and it helps keep me organized.

Today's run went ok. I had a really long day- 7 hours at work, followed by 3 hours at a wedding reception with my family, and two long drives... so I almost felt too tired to run. I'm definitely glad that I did, even though I was already exhausted. (Weddings in my family are pretty wild. I think I danced with my cousin or uncle for three hours straight. One of them was around pretty much the entire time. My body isn't used to that kind of movement!) I ran a little over 5 miles, which was my goal. I didn't have a lot of struggles or pain during my run. A few times I was a little sore, but I fought through. I think that I was successful. haha.

Tomorrow I'm going for a 5.5 mile run, which isn't too long or too short. I'm looking forward to it.

At work today, people were asking me again how it is that I can actually run as much as I do. I try to explain that anybody can run a half marathon if they train for it. It bothers me when people say that it is impossible, because it really isn't. It just takes a lot of drive.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 342.12 miles/203 days
To go: 657.88 miles/162 days

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Temporary (I hope) Bump in the Road

Last night I woke up several times with pain in my butt muscle. I know that I must have strained a muscle, and I remember that I first hurt it at work a month ago or something. I was lifting a box of ice cream mix and I felt an incredible pain, so much that I doubled over and almost screamed. However, I was at work, so I didn't scream and the pain subsided after a while. It only has hurt a little since then, but the other night when I was running, I felt that same pain come back. That time I almost fell down and I did scream. So for the past few days, I've been having muscle spasms in my butt, which is awful. I could be laying, sitting, standing, running... anything. It's almost random. I did some research online and decided that it is probably a muscle strain, so I went to the store and got some icyhot patches. Then I laid on the couch for a few hours with a patch on my rear. I've never used an icyhot patch before. It was a new experience. I'm going to try to be using it fairly regularly for the next few days. It feels better right now, but we'll see how it is tomorrow. Katherine also suggested that I take some ibuprofen... and by suggested, I mean that she practically forced medication down my throat. haha.

I feel better now, but I'm concerned that I have to work tomorrow... and it's probably going to be a long shift of making ice cream. I'm going to have to be lifting a lot of heavy boxes and containers, but I'll have to hope for the best.

Luckily, when I ran today, I didn't have problems with my muscle. It was reaaaaaally hot though. I also was disappointed, because my ipod was dead. I guess I left it on accidentally the last time that I used it. That means no Nike+ for me. I was tempted to go back home and charge my ipod and then try again, but I didn't, so I just ran a route that I've run several times before and that I have already memorized the length of. The heat was awful. I'm trying to get accustomed to running in the heat, because Florida weather is going to be mostly like Indiana summer except for a lot of extra time every year. I was able to finish close to five miles, which is okay mileage, but could be better. I'm going to shoot for six miles tomorrow and attempt to lengthen my runs so that I can be marathon ready soon.

There's a triathalon around here that is coming up in July. It will be before I move. I've been wanting to do this triathalon for two years or something. I'd have to do some bike training and get in the pool again, but I think I can do it. The water is basically where I used to live every summer and I've been swimming for as long as I can remember. My biking skills aren't quite to the point that I'd like them to be, but I'm still interested in the race. I'd be doing it alone, but I think that I could convince someone to come watch me race. I've thought more and more about it every day... for like a week. haha. I'm definitely leaning toward doing it. There's also a race in a few weeks that I'm interested in, but I'd have to register like... NOW... and ask off days at work. hmm...

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 336.95 miles/200 days
To go: 663.05 miles/165 days

seeking motivation

Today was exhausting. I was excited that I only had to work for a few hours, but I ended up picking up a few extra hours at work, which isn't neccessarily a bad thing. Then I went out and had dinner and saw a movie with some friends. Plus the air conditioning was broken at work today, which definitely just made me feel more sluggish and tired.

My run today was pretty successful. I pushed myself fairly hard, but still completed a pretty good run and didn't have much pain doing it. I think that resting yesterday was helpful in ensuring that I wasn't hurting and having muscle spasms like I was on Sunday night. I am worn out though. I'm considering trying to run in the mornings rather than in the evenings, because I might have more energy then. Sometimes, I just really enjoy being able to lay in my bed and relax for a little bit in the mornings. If I was getting up and going for a run early in the morning, I'd definitely not be laying around. It's just something I might try.

I'm making an effort to eat more healthily. I've tried it before and eating right definitely makes a difference. Sometimes it's tough, though, because when I work, it is really easy for me to run to a food court or get something in the drive through. I'm going to try bringing my own food and eating it at work. Today I brought my own food but decided I didn't want heated up in the microwave food, because the building I was working in was almost 90 degrees inside. So my grandma brought me something to eat, though it would have been healthier to eat what I brought. I'll forgive myself this time.

I'm trying to scramble back onto the running bandwagon, I guess. It's a little bit tough, because I feel like I really fell off track. I want to find a race to run before I move... or after I move, or both. I don't have a lot of money, so I can't really run as many races as I've considered running lately... it would just be really nice to be able to run one really awesome race this summer. I need to do some researching. Maybe I will tomorrow, because I have the day off.

Tomorrow's official plans are: runnnnn. read. eat. haha.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 332.12 miles/199 days
To go: 667.88 miles/166 days

Monday, May 24, 2010

Tough run yesterday

Wow. It has been a long time since I have run... or written about running.

My trip to Florida went well. Lots of business taken care of, but not a whole lot of time to relax. That's okay, though. I didn't really have the opportunity to run, either, which I was worried about. I'm a little disappointed about that. I scoped out the area around the new apartment complex, though, and saw a couple great places to run. I'm definitely excited about that.

I got back LATE Wednesday night and have worked all day every day since then (except Saturday when I had other plans after work that still kept me busy until late), until last night. I got off work at 5 and didn't work extra hours or have other plans. I finally got to go running again. I feel like I keep reiterating the need for me to make running a priority in my life. It's hard when I miss one or two days, because then I just can't get myself to run again. However, if I run regularly, it really is so much easier to keep going. That's just something that I've thought of.

I'm really disappointed that I haven't run in any races this summer yet. I'm not sure that I will be able to. I REALLY want to, though. Hmph. I need to find one to run, desperately.

Last night, running was pretty tough. It was exhausting... and I've been having a lot of pains lately at work in one of the muscles in my butt. I'm not sure what it is, but it started hurting when I was running yesterday. I probably should have stopped, but I walked for a little bit and then pushed myself harder than I should have, considering the pain almost made me buckle over for a moment. I feel okay today and I can walk. The first time that it started hurting, I was at work and lifting heavy boxes. I'm a little worried about it, but I'm not sure what there is to do about muscle pains, rather than to take time off. I already have taken time off.

I didn't run very far yesterday, either. With the pain in my butt and the time that has past since I have last run, I figured that I should take it easy a little. I pushed myself harder than I probably should have, but my distance and time were fairly slow. I'm not complaining about it, just pointing out that I was able to take it a little easy. I'm glad for that.

I'm excited for warm weather. :) It's wonderful out. After work today, I'm hoping to get to go for a long run. It has been really hot out though, so it might be tough getting used to the heat.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 324.93 miles/197 days
To go: 675.07 miles/168 days

Saturday, May 15, 2010

cut my run short.

I checked the weather before I went out this morning to run. It lied.. because it was definitely not 58 degrees outside. It's probably more like 70 already.. and it was barely nine am. From now on, I'm not believing anything that the internet says that the weather is. I guess I'll just have to go outside in my pajamas and assess the weather myself. Hmph.

Needless to say, since I was dressed for weather in the high fifties- shorts and a long sleeved shirt, my run was cut short. I got ridiculously hot and just could not finish. I wanted to run five miles or run an hour, whichever came first. I headed back home at 4 miles, which I'm a little disappointed about, especially because I used to always have my best runs when I'm staying at my mom's house, which I do every weekend for work. Now, I feel like that has changed a little bit. It's just a little bit frustrating. I'm going to have to figure out a different way, I guess.

Needless to say, summer running is going to be interesting. I might have to invest in some sort of a portable, easy to carry water bottle or something, because I really don't want to become dehydrated.

I'm heading to Florida tomorrow to look at apartments and hopefully get everything worked out to move in a couple of months. I'm going to try to run a couple of times, hopefully. We'll see how it works out, I guess. Good luck to me.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 319.33 miles/189 days
To go:680.67 miles/ 176 days

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

New PR & Huge Accomplishments.

After my running yesterday, I expected to be a little bit sore and exhausted today. It was not as bad as I expected it to be, though, which is awesome. I had a fairly lazy day, though, which is unusual for me. I'm not used to just sitting around. It was nice though. I did a little laundry and worked on my resume a little bit more. I'm going to start sending it out this week, because I really need a job to help me get through grad school.

I struggled a little bit to find my motivation today, once again. I've had a hard time finding the time to run lately, but now that I have had the time, it has been a little bit difficult to actually get out there and do it. I sat around and found all sorts of other things to do besides run, but then I finally got up and went. I am very glad that I did though.

I set a ridiculous goal for myself today- 9.5 miles. I ended up not quite reaching the goal, but I ran 9.28 miles in less than 2 hours, which is a huge accomplishment. That's pretty much a PR for me, which is a huge deal. I haven't gotten a PR in such a long time. I'm going to gloat for a little while.

My run was really tough. I thought that I wasn't going to be able to finish for a little bit. I actually started to cry when I got toward the end- which was a mix of a great run and a really tough run. I had set a goal for myself to finish in under two hours, but I wasn't sure that I'd be able to do it. I could have given up. I was exhausted and frustrated... but I didn't give up, for some reason. I'm just really glad that I was able to finish, and with an impressive time. I'm exhausted now, though... and pretty sore. I haven't really pushed myself in quite a while and now I pushed myself two days in a row! haha.

I feel much more motivated and ready to finish out this year and to run the Goofy's Challenge. Obviously, I'm not physically ready for a full marathon yet, let alone Goofy's Challenge, but it's one of the biggest goals that I've set myself toward thus far. I know that it's something that I will have to push myself toward, but it's something that is doable for sure. Accomplishable, definitely.

I need to sign up for two races or so this summer... maybe a full for the fall. We'll see what happens. I wish I had an unlimited supply of money and time. haha.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 315.3 miles/186 days
To go: 684.7 miles/179 days

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Three hundred miles down! :)

Wow. Two tough runs today.

I ran this morning with Katherine. We went on campus and ran for about an hour and fifteen minutes or a little more than that. It was a tough run though, because it was really windy for the majority of the run. It seemed like whatever happened, the wind was against us, though. No matter what direction we turned, the wind was fighting us. My pacing was a little bit slower than what I like, but we got some decent mileage in, considering the weather and it was nice to be out running again. With work and graduation, I haven't run in a few days. I really need to work on pushing myself through and continuing to run, even if it's just a few miles, on days when I'd rather just go to bed early. I've set myself to this huge goal, so I'd really like to be able to follow through. I know that I can. It's just about mind over matter, I guess. haha. Sometimes I'd just rather not get up and go for a run.

It's weird struggling with running this way. I've always been someone that pushes through and does what is needed to be done. It's difficult to continue running when I have so much other stuff going on. I do make running a priority, but it's not the highest on my priority list. I think that I would feel a lot more motivated if I had more time or if I had a race that I could run. I have several that I'm thinking about. I did register for Goofy's Challenge, but that's not until January. I want to be able to push myself to do a race or two this summer. I know that there's nothing like the high after finishing a race. It has been six months since my last one, so I feel like I haven't had that feeling or that motivation in such a long time. It has been tough.

There are so many ways that I can motivate myself and I know that I will finish all of these goals that I have set. I know that I'm a person that can and will follow through with what I want and what I need. Sometimes, it's just difficult. I've worked myself to exhaustion for the past year. Now I just need to focus on getting back to myself again. By doing that, I'm going to set goals for myself, but it doesn't have to be like it has been. I'm not going to have three jobs and go to school full time all at once. That was insane. Right now I'm working and I've graduated, but I'm not working nearly as much as I have. That gives me a lot of free time... to run. haha.

One thing that I love about running is that I can think so clearly. When I run with soeone else, it's nice to be able to talk and have someone to help push me along, but when I'm running by myself, it's wonderful to be able to think. I don't have a lot of time to just think about things, so it's nice to be able to do that. I used to only run inside and I would hate running outside. I spent too much time in the gym. Now, though, being outside is calming and relaxing. I feel more like I can run at my own pace and exercise in the way that I want to for myself. That's something that I definitely enjoy.

Next week, Katherine and I are going to Orlando to check out an apartment and hopefully make a deposit and secure our spot for moving down there. I'm looking forward to the little trip, even though it'll be quick and short and... busy. However, I'm excited that I'll be able to run a little in Orlando, where I'll be living in just three short months. Well, two and a half at this point, or almost. Wow. I'm not going to have a lot of time to run, but I'd like to go out and run a little bit once or twice in the four days that we'll be gone. I'm definitely going to try it out.

Anyways, my second run was by myself and was 2.7 miles. It was nice to be able to run alone and with a running partner in one day. For my run, I stayed around here and ran a few miles away from my apartment complex, through some parking lots, and back. I wanted it to be a quick run, because I have other stuff going on tonight- like a shower and grocery shopping. haha. (and reading! I've missed reading.) I pushed myself pretty hard, even though I was tired from running this morning. I'm glad that I was able to finish my goal run out. I considered running three miles, but I was just exhausted, honestly. I'm still tired. Tomorrow, I'm going to run again. Two days in a row. Be impressed!

I'm excited to announce that I'm officially an alum. I earned my two Bachelor's of Arts Degrees at the end of last week. (Well, officially, my grades were posted today, though I had no fear of not graduating. All A's and B's.) Graduation was a lot of fun on Saturday and I'm pretty excited to move onto the next step in my life..... grad school! Haha. :) 2010 is proving to be a huge year for me.

...aaaand 300 miles down! I'm like 200 miles behind, but that's not too bad, considering my runs are getting longer and my endurance is getting better!

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 306.02 miles/185 days
To go: 693.98 miles/180 days

Thursday, May 6, 2010

My Grand Return to Running!

So I'm back!

I could hardly function between school and work, combined with the grief when Teresa died last week. It was definitely tough for a while. It's still a little tough, but I was able to go out and run this morning, which was wonderful. Running is such a release in so many ways.

I got to use my Nike+ for the first time this morning! I've had the shoes for over a week now and I didn't expect that I'd end up so stressed out last week and not realy able to run, so today was awesome. I LOVE it. I don't have to worry about Map My Run, which is a nice tool, but can be a pain sometimes. With the Nike+, I can run wherever I want and still track it! I'm glad that I budgeted my money so that I could buy it. I haven't used the online tool a lot, because I'm busy getting ready to finish my 2 Bachelor's Degrees tomorrow and graduate on Saturday, but it was nice to be able to look at it a little. I think that it's going to become a really useful tool in the upcoming months and year(s).. haha. I do love it.

Running this morning was so exciting! Being finals week, my schedule is a little different than usual, so I was able to run this morning, when I would usually have been at work. Very exciting. It was a little chilly at first, but I got used to it pretty quickly. I warmed up and even was sweaty by the end! haha. I love when it gets warm outside. (Duh, I'm moving to Florida!) I ran all over campus this morning and got to take a look at some of my favorite places over the past few years. I hope that I find a place in Orlando that is as nice to look at as Ball State's campus. It's really pretty here. I'm sure I'll find something. Besides, running isn't entirely about beauty and niceness. It's just partially about beauty. haha.

I'm so excited to be almost done with school.. more time for work, money, and running! That's all that I need in life! lol. I'm going to start running a lot this summer, training for Goofy's Challenge and maybe running a few half marathons. I'd like to be able to run a full marathon sometime in the fall. I think that I will be able to find one that I'm interested in, then I'll feel a little bit more motivated. That's the goal.

I'm a little sad that it has been so long since I've been able to run. I've been struggling with things getting in the way. I need to make this a priority, because it IS a priority. It's just tough to be able to figure out what is the most important priority in my life. I think that's an adult thing to think about. Maybe being 23 makes me an adult. Hmph!

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 296.85 miles/180 days
To go: 703.15 miles/185 days

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Brief hiatus.

I was going to run tonight, but found out in the past several hours that a close friend of mine died unexpectedly and suddenly this afternoon. I'm taking some time to myself tonight and will resume the craziness that my life is tomorrow.

Monday, April 26, 2010

On a journey to becoming a runner

Hi New Followers! Thanks for joining and reading. :)
I appreciate the comments about music. I bought a little bit of new music last week. I haven't had time to update my iPod yet, though. (I feel like I talk too much about having no time.)

I wish that I could convince my cat to go running with me. She could use some exercise... but the furthest she will run is from the bed to her food dish. Trust me, I've tried to take her on a walk. Did you know that cats hate leashes? They do. You can't even psychologically trick a cat into being a dog by putting her on a leash as a kitten. Well, I guess I could have by giving her a treat every time I took her out for a walk. Too late now. She's a huge fan of sleeping and eating. Aren't we all? Oh to live life as a cat...

I got new running shoes yesterday! So excited. I still have a few dozen miles left on my old shoes, but I really have been ready for my new ones. I got the Nike Lunarglide+. I have yet to set up my Nike+ account, but that will come in the next few days. Right now my main focus is getting things lined up for the end of school, but I'm still planning on running as much as possible for the next week.

For one of my classes, I'm working on a memoir about my journey becoming a runner. Yes, I've only been running for a little over a year, but running has become a huge part of me. I feel like I'm just beginning in this new lifestyle that is going to have an impact on who I am for the rest of my life. I'm going to post my memoir when I'm done with it, probably at the end of the week. That's something to look forward to, I suppose.

My graduation is  in less than two weeks! May 8, which convienently (or not) is the day of the Indy Mini. Being from Indiana and moving away soon, I would really like to be able to run the biggest half marathon in the country. However, I'm going to graduation instead. I actually have thought about wearing my running shoes under my cap and gown as a way to commemorate the race that is going on. I think it is a creative idea and I'm proud of myself for thinking of it.

Tonight's run was fast and... on the treadmill. I'll have so much more time to really train as soon as this week is over. I have a ton of stuff due this week plus more hours of work than usual (like... 45-50ish), so most of my runs will be indoors. I got to lift weights a little, which was really nice. I broke in my new shoes, which I'm not going to use on the treadmill anymore after today. I just wanted to use them this once. Now I'm intending to use my old shoes on the treadmill and my new shoes for outdoor runs.

I'm getting really serious about my running though. I want to be a serious runner. I'm not quite to that point yet, but I'm getting there. I'm looking forward to who I'm seeing myself become. Sometimes I think back on running a mile in school. I hated it. I still hate running my first mile and, after talking to other people, I feel like that won't change, but I enjoy running as a whole. There's just something addicting about it.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 290.73 miles/170 days
To go: 709.27 miles/195 days

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Running Through My Eyes.

I took some pictures of my run today and I thought I would share. These are some of the places that I often run by on my typical running route. I thought that a visual would be neat to share. I apologize for some of the blurry pictures. I didn't stop running to take them, ha. Just don't tell my high school photography teacher. She would be upset that I broke so many photography rules.

My run went very very well today, considering I almost quit before I completed my goal for the day. I pushed myself harder than I have in a long time and was able to run further than I have since NOVEMBER when I ran my last half marathon. My pacing and timing was great too. I ran 9.27 miles in 2 hours and 2 minutes. I'm very impressed with myself.

Again, my first mile was really difficult. Any suggestions on how to make the beginning not so tough? I'm not sure that I understand why it's so hard to complete the first mile. I've noticed it time and time again. I also feel like I need to download some new music to my iPod. I like my music, but I need some new stuff to help keep me going when I feel like quitting. I like my acoustic music a lot, but it doesn't help me to complete a long run.

My next seven miles went well, but I almost quit when I was at mile 8. I almost sat down and waited for Katherine to get off of work so that she could come and pick me up. I'm glad that I finished, though. I walked a lot at the end, which I have mixed feelings about. I am going to try to stay positive about it, because I, at least, kept moving my legs.

The Indy Mini is the same day as my graduation. I might wear running shoes to graduation under my cap and gown. In a sense, I'm completing a huge marathon, though I won't make it to the Indy Mini. I think it would be fun to wear my running shoes to graduation. I do want to have my new running shoes by then, which means that I'm going to have to order them SOON. Decisions, decisions.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 285.15 miles/168 days
To go: 714.85 miles/197 days

Pacing myself.

Today was exhausting... even though I took a long nap after I got out of class and before I went to work. (Seriously, my day started with work at 8 and is just finishing now at 1 am.) Though most of my big final projects aren't due until next week, I'm working a LOT this week... so I have a feeling that I'm going to be working a lot next week too. I'm trying not to let it cut into my running, but I think that it's going to cut into my sleep. Something has got to give, I guess.

Tonight, I ran on the treadmill, because I worked and went to the grocery store after I finished class. I think that a treadmill isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it isn't the best training mechanism for me. For my sanity, I have to spend some time outside. There's nothing quite like running in the fresh air. On the treadmill, I push myself too hard and I run much more quickly than I typically do. I also strain myself and feel completely drained when I'm done. I cannot get myself to run at a steady pace on the treadmill. Sometimes it feels like a problem.

Tomorrow, I'm going to go on a 9-10 mile run outside and try to pace myself evenly. I haven't run more than 7 miles in a while, so it's going to be a big deal. I know that I normally hit a wall at 5 miles or so and then I get over it at 6 or 7, so it might go really well. I am hoping that the run will go really well.

I really just want to figure out my pacing. That's the biggest problem right now. I really like the idea that I will be able to complete a full marathon in a respectable time. I'm not sure what a respectable time is in my opinion right now, but it's going to take a lot of work. I'm worried about it. I'd like to be able to do well. I feel like I can be a successful runner and that I will be able to be the runner that I want to be. I also know that it takes a lot of work. I haven't put the work into my running lately, but I want to change that. I think that I can. Well, I know that I can. I'm just concerned about the work that I'm going to have to put into it combined with the amount of time that I do/don't have.

It would be really convenient to have five more hours in a day. That's not asking much is it?

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 275.88 miles/167 days
To go: 724.12 miles/198 days

Monday, April 19, 2010

is obsession too much?

I pushed myself pretty hard tonight. I guess that I can't expect to have great mileage or times when I haven't done much running for the past few months. I just need to keep at it... keep working toward my running and improvement. It's sometimes tough to be able to push myself when I feel like I have so much going on.

I wish that I had more people to run with. I run with Katherine when I can, but it's hard because she hurt her foot a while ago so I know she worries about hurting herself worse. (Plus with her two jobs and my three jobs and my classes, it's hard to find time that we can both run together.) I've talked to people at work about running with them, but usually just lightheartedly. It's mostly taken as a joke. I'm a little bit serious about it though. It would be really nice to have someone to run with, someone to keep me going. I can motivate myself though. I know that I'm not going to just find someone to run with everywhere. I mean, I work in two ice cream stores and then in dining for my university... not very many people that I work with are too concerned with being careful of their health. Even fewer actually want to train for races with me.

I would like to join a running group, but it is really hard to find the time. My life is all about being in a rush, so it's hard to actually find something to do one more thing. Maybe when I'm in grad school, I can make it a priority to join a running group. I'd just like to have more running friends, I guess.

It's nice that Megi has started to run and that she has been talking to me a little about her journey. It makes me feel like I'm more connected in a sense, I guess. I like to be able to talk about running. Sometimes, though, I feel like I'm obsessed with it, which scares me a little. I'm not neccessarily obsessed. I just get really into the things that I enjoy. I immerse myself in things. Right now, I'm immersed in running stuff. I'm also really immersed in media information and with writing. One thing that I'm really into right now is running. I like the positive reactions that I'm getting from what I'm doing and I really enjoy the way that people compliment me for different things or seem impressed with me and what I'm doing. I'm just not so excited about how there is some negativity in my circles.

I'm reading Marathon by Mal Higdon from Runner's World. I'm only on chapter 3 or so, but it's really inspiring. I've been trying to find motivation and some of the things that Higdon wrote about really have inspired me to keep going. I will probably have plenty to say about the book later.

I'm just trying to figure out when I should schedule my first full marathon. I have some decent endurance right now. I am going to keep at it and add more miles. I just need to be able to run Goofy's Challenge in January. That's my big goal right now. I think that I'm looking at running a full marathon sometime in the fall. I'm not totally sure though.

My run today was almost 7 miles. It was nice to be able to run with Katherine. I think that we both pushed ourselves pretty hard and I know that my muscles will be sore tomorrow. (That's unfortunate, because I work two of my jobs tomorrow. ha.)

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 270.84 miles/166 days
To go: 729.16 miles/199 days

Getting started on a long run.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Thursday, April 15, 2010

heat, exhaustion, soreness..

Running is HARD. Everybody who says that running is a simple sport, because all you need is a pair of shoes is a liar. It's not simple and it isn't easy. I'm exhausted. My feet are sore and my legs are tired. I have a million things going on in my life, but I'm still going out and running like an insane person.

Today was the pinnacle of my semester. I'm finally done with the majority of my most difficult assignments, so I finally got to run today. Naturally, this month has been much more warm than April in Indiana typically is, so tonight it was HOT out. I'm not used to running in the extreme heat anymore. My muscles fought with me for the entire six miles. I came home covered in sweat. It was pretty awful.

As usual, my first mile was the worst. I felt like I wouldn't be able to finish my run. I had to push myself to continue after I ran past my car. (I often run around a block on campus and parallel park my car on the side of the road. The block is a little more than a mile and a half.) After the first mile, my run got better, but my endurance was still off. It's been a while since I've been running regularly and I know that my muscles are mad at me about it. I know that I'm going to have to rebuild my endurace, but it's going to be really hard with the heat. My body will become accustomed to it, though. I just prefer that it's sooner rather than later. ha.

My second and third lap went pretty well, though. By the time I started running my last lap around the block, I was starting to really drag. I had to mentally fight with myself to continue running. I did, though. I ended up running a little over six and a half miles, which is pretty good. I took it pretty easy at the end, though, which I am a little disappointed with. However, I did finish the miles that I wanted to finish and my timing wasn't too terrible. It could have been a little better, but it wasn't horrible.

Hopefully, I can get accustomed to the warm weather soon. I will have more time to be able to run now that I turned in my huge 20 page paper. That will definitely help a lot.

I still have to make an official decision about the 10k on Saturday. Choices, choices...

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 264.07 miles/162 days
To go: 735.93 miles/203 days

Sunday, April 11, 2010

warm weather.

So, I have to be completely honest. I chose not to run the Holy Half Marathon at Notre Dame today. I really wanted to do it and even got the day off of work (which is a BIG deal for me, the girl who has had 1 or 2 days off since Christmas). Then I was looking at information about the race and saw that the awards ceremony was only two and a half hours after the starting time, which seemed a little odd, considering I probably wouldn't be able to run fast enough to make it in a half an hour. So I looked at the results from last year's race. The last place finisher finished in a faster time than my own PR. I made the decision that I wouldn't want to finish last. I know that it's okay to be last and that someone has to be the last finisher, but that combined with my lack of training in the last few weeks because of school... I decided it would be best for me to pass on the race this time. It would have been nice to be able to run, but I need to train more before I actually run a half marathon. Disappointing, but that's reality.

However, there's a 10k in Roanoke next weekend that I'm going to do. It will be on Saturday. A 10k is much more feasible than a half marathon right now and I'll be in Fort Wayne anyways to work... like every other weekend of my life. Anyhow, I'm excited to do it.

Today's run went okay. I ran with Katherine & we took it fairly easily. The weather is wonderful for a run. I wore my new running shorts and was comfortable with the temperature. We ran a little over four and a half miles. My legs aren't used to running as much as they have been, which is disappointing, but I'm honestly going to have a lot more time after this week is over. It's hard being in the last semester and working as much as I do. I didn't expect it to be like this at all. So yes, I was a little sore, but it was a good run.

I'm so thankful that winter is over and that my treadmill days are winding down for the year. I'm going to try to only use the treadmill when I'm short on time... like tomorrow because I have classes and work from 9-3, followed by night class at 6:30. My time is always limited on Mondays, unfortunately.

I'm looking forward to doing a 10k Saturday. It'll be nice to be able to race again.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 257.55 miles/158 days
To go: 742.45 miles/207 days

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Struggling to find time.

Ah. This time of the year is the craziest. I'm preparing for graduation in a little over a month, while thinking about my move to Orlando in less than four months and grad school starting in August. I'm trying not to focus TOO much on the future, though, because I have to finish undergrad before I can work on my Master's Degree. It is a little mindboggling to think that things are changing so rapidly right now, though.

Anyways, my week was tough. It's that time of the year now when ice cream stores are getting busy. My hours on campus are still pretty much the same, though I dropped one shift. I felt my sanity slipping. My classes are crazy, insane, whatever you want to call them. I'm beginning to second guess this double major idea, but I think that it is a little too late for that. My running has fallen to the wayside, but that seriously needs to change.

I am dedicated to this thousand miles in a year goal. Absolutely. I also am dedicated to running Goofy's Challenge next January and the training starts now. Today.

My biggest issue is time. It never feels like there is enough time in the day to get everything done that I want to. I don't want to be the girl who always has excuses though. This is important to me, the running, the fitness, having something that I can teach myself to be good at. That's what this is. I've grown from hating running to appreciating it to really enjoying it, which I never expected for a minute.

I guess I'm wondering what other people struggle with in their running.. what motivates you to run when things are tough?

Anyways, I'm trying to keep to do lists and including my running in it. I'm also starting a food journal, because I know that eating the right things can make a difference in alertness, energy, and motivation. I've been slacking on the eating right idea lately.

Honestly though, the slacking and excuses have to end now. If I want to be a serious runner, I will be. Somehow, it has to be that simple.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 252.9 miles/150 days
To go: 747.1 miles/215 days