Thursday, February 25, 2010

to be a runner.

I seriously need a race. I think that I have one that I'm going to sign up for in April. Unfortunately, I think that it isn't going to work out for me to find anybody to run with me. However, I'm going to do it anyways. It would be nice if I could find someone to just go to South Bend with me and just hang out the night before the race. I'm feeling a little bit pessimistic about that though. I haven't run a race by myself yet. I guess I haven't been running for that long, though, considering my first race was only in September, which was only a few months ago.

I had another wonderful run tonight on the treadmill. Well, as wonderful as running on the treadmill can be, I guess. I'm really excited that it's going to warm up next week. I'm going to officially start my outdoor run on Tuesday night. I really need to start doing serious training. I'm really excited about it. I'm going to be ahead in all of my classes by early Tuesday so that I'm able to run at least seven and a half miles. I'm sooo excited.

I swear that if it was a year ago, I wouldn't know who I am today. I wouldn't understand who in their right mind could possibly be excited about running seven miles. I would be disturbed. I only ran because I could eat more on Weight Watchers if I was exercising.

Now I'm a running addict. Hmm..

Anyways, yeah, today's run was great. As usual, the first mile sucked.. it always does, no matter what. The next few miles went really really well, though. I didn't start struggling until I got close to mile five. I guess that's impressive in a sense. I haven't run that many miles in a while so I'm glad that I did. I need to keep it up, though. It has been too easy to give up and slack off lately. That's unacceptable if I want to be taken seriously as a runner, which I do. Very much.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 222.03 miles/110 days
To go: 777.97 miles/255 days


Yeah, so today is not going to be an outdoor run. It's going to be my last treadmill run for the week. Tomorrow, however, I'll be back in Fort Wayne. After I finish up at work, I'm definitely going to run at least a few miles. There's just something about running that makes me feel better. I realized that last night. I've just been so frustrated with so many things lately... and overwhelmed, but when I run, I do feel better. I'm still overwhelmed, I still hav 3 jobs & I still go to school full time. I still have too much on my plate & I don't sleep enough.

However, there are positives:
1. I'm going to my first choice graduate school next fall. Duh!
2. I HAVE jobs & money. (not a lot of money, but I have a small income & that is wonderful.)
3. I'm training for Goofy's Race & A Half Challenge , which I think is completely respectable. (plus, I'll be living in Orlando, so I won't even have to get a hotel!)
4. My leg muscles are massive.
5. Even when I feel like nothing is going right, my legs still move and my feet still work.

I wonder where I would be right now if my mom hadn't gotten me to do the Fort 4 Fitness last fall. It didn't take a lot of convincing, but it was a wonderful experience. I don't think I'd be where I am right now. I'd certainly not be blogging about running all of the time. I would probably be working out periodically, but it would not be a priority in my life. (& I wouldn't be addicted to races.)

It's funny how things can just change so quickly.

Goal: 1000 mlse/365 days
So far: 216.36 miles/109 days
To go: 783.64 miles/256 days

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

running is lovely. :)

Running doesn't solve my problems. In the last few weeks, my heart got broken, sort of got healed, became confused, and still hurts a little. I've been getting homework piled on like crazy. Things in my jobs have been getting more and more insane. I've been getting even more hours. I've been getting less sleep. It's just been a mess.

I took yesterday and Monday off of running. Not intentionally, I just didn't feel like going. I didn't honestly feel like going tonight... but I went.

I ran longer than I've run in a long time and it was wonderful. I feel like something clicked in me. Of course, had I all of the time in the world, I could have kept going. I may try to convince my roomie to run tomorrow night outside.. depending on her foot. I really miss the pavement. If that doesn't work out, I'll probably hit that five mile mark again tomorrow on the treadmill.

I may not be the fastest runner in the world, but I absolutely love doing it. Most of the time. :)

I'm going to try not to think about how many miles I should have run in the last few days and getting further behind. It'll work out.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 216.36 miles/109 days
To go: 783.64 miles/256 days

Sunday, February 21, 2010

i've been itching for a race.

I didn't get to run yesterday. I ended up working the whole day after all, which was frustrating and disappointing. I'm even more behind in my running goal now. I wish I just had more time in my life, but I don't. It would be convienent if I could just quit sleep or something so that I could run more often. I can't, though.

Rumor has it that I take on too much at a time, that my goals are too high. I'm tired of hearing about it. I guess that I'm just too much of a goal oriented person, but my goals are some of the most important things to me. I feel like many people think that I can't do this or that I can't do that. I don't know. I really intend to finish my 1000 miles and I intend to start running outside as soon as possible. I also intend to add to my weekly mileage as soon as I start running outside again. The treadmill sucks, as does the weather.

Today it was a little nicer outside, so I'm hoping that the worst of winter is over. I'm completely okay with running in the rain, too. I'm just not okay with running through a foot of snow plus ice. Sucky.

I will get this all done. I still haven't officially signed up for Goofy's Challenge. I will probably do it as soon as I'm done paying my bills for the month. I've gotten a little bit sick of paying bills and watching my hard earned money disappear. I guess that's just reality, though. Sigh. It's only the beginning.

I really need to find someone to run the Holy Half Marathon in South Bend. It's in April. I'd really like to convince Katherine to do it with me, but she hasn't really run much since she hurt her foot. I know that she'd like to try to train for something, but she's nervous. Ugh. I hope that she miraculously gets better or at least decides to spend that weekend in South Bend. I'm just not ready to go out there by myself... and I don't know enough runners to convince anyone else to go with me, I guess. I'm hoping.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 211.09 miles/106 days
To go: 788.91 miles/259 days

Thursday, February 18, 2010

sick, races, running, training.

Another day, still sick.
I didn't run yesterday and didn't push myself too hard tonight. I guess that's good news. I put off the start of my official outdoor training until next week.

Tomorrow is going to be another off day, because it will be a long day of work.. hopefully I will be able to run Saturday evening, but it looks like I'm going to have to work another open to close day. Sometimes, I wish I had the willpower to say no. I work too much for my own sanity.

Sometimes, I feel like running is one of the only things that I have that still keeps me near sanity. There's just something about challenging yourself to something, even if it is borderline insane, that keeps a drive within. I keep thinking about these races that I want to run and I'm excited about them. I guess I'd have more drive if I didn't feel like I had to race by myself, though. I wish that Katherine's foot would just get better so she could train & race with me. I think it would be fun.

I've thought about asking my friend Nicole to run a couple races with me. I know that she would do it if possible, but I'm not sure that I know her well enough to spend most of a weekend with her. I don't know what we'd talk about or do. The next race I want to run is in April in South Bend, so I'd need to get a hotel room and find someplace to eat... it just seems lonely to do all of that alone, I guess. I do need to decide soon if I'm going to do it.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 207.57 miles/102 days
To go: 792.43 miles/263 days

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

100 days down, 265 days to go.

First 100 days!! That's ...basically a big deal.

Once again, I'm starting to get sick. This sucks. I'm congested with the beginnings of a sore throat. I can just tell that this is just going to get worse before it gets better. I'm hoping it doesn't conflict with my running too much... if at all. Blah.

It snowed AGAIN. My usual outdoor route still hasn't been plowed and I'm not going to run through a foot of snow. Soo... treadmill again. Potentially, I could come up with another running route, but that would just take a lot of brain power right now and I haven't had free time in weeks and weeks.

Anyways.... decent run tonight. I'm a little sore, but it'll probably be better tomorrow.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 204.24 miles/100 days
To go: 795.76 miles/265 days

Monday, February 15, 2010

To RUN is to be FREE.

So... I didn't run yesterday like I intended to. That was my bad. Like I keep saying, I need to prioritize things in my life so that I don't feel overwhelmed and unable to accomplish everything that I need to accomplish. I'm starting to frustrate myself with this pattern.

The good news is that I am going to start serious training tomorrow, rain, snow, shine, tornado... whatever the weather, I'll be out there. Running. It's what I do. I can't wait until it isn't snowing every day so that I can just enjoy the weather while I'm out there. I really miss last summer, when I was either swimming or running most days. That was wonderful. I was also on my bike a LOT. However, I'm definitely changing a lot of things in my life, one of which is how serious I have become about running.

I thought that running a half marathon wasn't going to be a big deal... I learned my lesson. Now, I'm going to train to run a full marathon this summer, at least one or two half marathons, and then Goofy's Challenge in January. I think that this summer is going to be a huge running summer for me, which I am really excited about. There's something about running road races that is just wonderful. I think that I want to know more about it. haha.

(It's too bad I'm not super rich and can't skip out on work all summer. haha.)

I miss running outside & I miss having a running partner.

I wrote a short story memoir today about an event that happened when I was a child & in part of it, I wrote about how I just wanted to run. That's really interesting, because I never really thought about that before. When you're a child, running is freeing. People forget that somewhere along the road. I'm glad I've gotten to get it back.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 200.01 miles/99 days
To go: 799.99 miles/266 days

Thursday, February 11, 2010


I've had a severe lack of motivation this week. It's seriously ridiculous.
I didn't run yesterday for a number of reasons and I almost didn't run tonight. Whatever. I ran.

Starting serious training next week, snow or not. I might actually have more free time. ...for personal reasons.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 195.75 miles/95 days
To go: 803.25/270 days

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

anticipating orlando running.

Sooooooo it looks like I will be running in Orlando next year! I got into the University of Central Florida to pursue my graduate studies. I'm really excited about it. It'll be year round outdoor running for me. haha. It's definitely a relief to get into a school... & it was my top choice, besides UNC-Chapel Hill, but there's no way that I could logically get into school there in all honesty. Wow. Today was a better day.

I took it easy running again. Our snow is supposed to stop by mid afternoon tomorrow, so in a few days, after some plowing and salting the sidewalks, I should be able to run outside again. I'm hoping that next week I will be outside. That would be so wonderful. There's just something about fresh air combined with pavement and the rubber soles of shoes. I think I might sound insane right now. I just love being outside. Just a year ago, when I first started to seriously exercise, I always ran on the treadmill. It wasn't until last summer that I started running outside. I love it, though.

Anyways. today. The run went okay. I took it easy again. My ankle seems to be better, but my leg muscles are still bothering me a little. I'm just going to take it fairly easy this week, save for maybe Thursday and/or Sunday, because I'm going to have to take Friday & Saturday off from running due to insane hours that I am working. My life is a balancing act, though.. which will probably not be letting up anytime soon.

Good news about living in Orlando: saves money on lodging for the Disney Marathon Weekend next January. I still haven't signed up, but probably will this week now that I'm not as worried about what I will be doing with my life at that point. I have eleven months to train for Goofy's Challenge. I need to seriously start picking it up. I've found a couple races that I want to do this summer before I move away. One is in Chicago and one is a full in South Bend. They are two weeks apart, which is kind of scary.

Anyyyyways... happy running! :)

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 192.21 miles/93 days
To go: 807.79 miles/272 days

more treadmill whining.

How do people train for marathons in the winter? This seriously sucks. The weather is calling for another 6-10 inches over the course of the next few days.. and that is on top of the 9 inches that we got on Friday. Hmm. I wonder if we're going to have classes for the rest of the week. Anyways, I really wish that it was nice outside, because I'm reeeeeeally antsy to get outside. I mean, I could run in the cold, I have enough gear to do it... the problem is running on 10 inches of snow on sidewalks that aren't completely clear yet.. plus driving to my usual running route is another challenge. I shouldn't complain, though, because the east coast got double the amount of snow that we got last week and is going to get the brunt of the storm that is coming to us tomorrow.

But seriously... it's so hard to train in this weather & little naive me thought that it was going to be okay to start training soon. Ugh! Maybe I'm just being grumpy.

In positive news, my ankle was okay today and I had a decent run on the treadmill.
Ugh. The treadmill. dreadmill.
Get me outside pleeeeeeease.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 188.91 miles/92 days
To go: 811.09 miles/273 days

Monday, February 8, 2010

ankle worries.

Oh man. Bad news. I didn't even push myself very hard tonight and by the second mile, my ankle started hurting. It was hurting a little bit two weeks or so ago, but now it's hard to even stand up. Shoot. I really cannot be injured, because it would screw up everything that I've done so far in my running... and everything that I'm shooting for. I'm going to pray that it's fine by tomorrow night's run. If it's not, I'm not sure what I will do. I'm so close to getting 200 miles and as soon as the two feet of snow melts, I intended to start training for a full that I want to do this summer.

Okay. No need to freak out. It's only been hurting for an hour.

Anyways, I'm excited, because with my new training regime, "push myself to the limit the majority of the days I work out instead of taking it easy," I've been noticing quite a few changes in my body. Actually, I've mostly been enjoying the new muscles in my legs. I've shown them off to both of my roommates and my mom so far. I might show them off at work one of these days, but that could be a little off.

I hope that I gain muscles somewhere else this week!

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 185.58 miles/91 days
To go: 814.42 miles/274 days

Saturday, February 6, 2010

awash with negativity.

Ugh! It snowed all day yesterday and messed up all of my hopes to run outside in the near future. One can't run on a foot of snow. It's almost impossible to even drive in this place. Meaning...... another boring treadmill run. lame.

...and we are due for more snow on Monday and Tuesday. Wonderful.

I don't have a whole lot to say. I had a pretty embarrassing fall on the ice near my apartment door. I'm kind of sore. I ran anyways. Now I'm sore again. Not sure if it's from falling or from running.

I attempted to run off some negative emotions from the day, but that didn't really work out so well for me. I mean, yeah, I ran hard and fast... and am subsequently exhausted. I just still have all of the negative emotions that I had an hour ago. How lame.

Blah blah blah. Lesson learned: running does not release enough endorphins to make things disappear.

Someone, please make this snow go away.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 182.42 miles/90 days
To go: 817.58/275 days

Thursday, February 4, 2010

new pr!

I joined a Goofy's Race & A Half Challenge facebook group. It doesn't seem very active right now, which I understand, because it's 335 days until the next Disney Marathon weekend. Duh. But still... I am going to look elsewhere to find a big group of running supporters. I wish I had more time in my life so that I could spend more time looking for support group people... then, after I find a great support group, I could find the time to actually be an active group member.

haha I definitely sound like a Psychology major, looking for support groups and whatnot. Maybe I should stop yammering about it.

Great run tonight! My first mile was actually not too bad.. it went well! The first mile always is the worst for me and usually sets the pace for the rest of the run. I set a PR tonight- 8.57142 minute miles. That sounds slow, but it's huge for me. I might be really sore tomorrow. Good thing tomorrow is my running day off. ha.

Okay. Exhausted. I'll return on Saturday. :)

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 178.17 miles/88 days
To go: 821.83 miles/277 days

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

in search of support.

Today at work, I was talking about what I had done yesterday after I got off of work/was done with classes for the day: worked on a paper, went to see a speaker (Mia Kirshner!) on campus, worked more on a paper, went for a run, worked a little more on a paper, did some reading, fell asleep. My friend at work asked me what was more important: school and homework or running. I laughed and said that, in some ways, they have similar importance. Of course, it was a joke at work, because people don't understand what I'm trying to do. I haven't tried to explain it to them very well, obviously. I joke around with a few of the people that I work with, asking if they would come running with me.

The people at the particular job that I'm talking about are mostly middle aged, older, overweight women. (This is not true for everybody. Just a prototype.) I work in a food service location on my university's campus. People that I work with typically don't understand what I'm trying to do. Many of them don't get a week's worth of exercise in within a month. It's a little frustrating, becuase when I get up in the morning, there isn't anybody there that I can really talk about my running with at work. Yes, there are other student employees at my job, and many of those people can relate to what I'm doing. It's just hard sometimes that the people that I work with one on one every day don't understand how important this is to me.

I know that a lot of people don't understand what I'm trying to do. This entire goal is huge for me. I haven't really stuck to much for very long and this is something that I think that I can totally do. Something pushes me to keep going every day. I wish that I had more of a support system. I know that there is a student runner's association on campus, but I think that they meet on Mondays... and Mondays are night class evenings for me. Too bad. There has to be something else for me, though.

My friend Katherine runs with me a lot, but she has some kind of problem going on with her foot that she hasn't had diagnosed. She needs to stay off of her foot for a while and try to relax. That's one less person that I can run with. At least she can understand what I'm talking about when I discuss running and running issues. She's just as interested in running as I am. Well, maybe not quite as much, but pretty much interested.

Actually, right now I'm going to mosey around online trying to find some kind of a support group. Maybe even for Goofy's Challenge.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 174.51 miles/87 days
To go: 825.49 miles/278 days

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

side cramps, breathing.

My run today was not as great as my run yesterday. I've been exhausted all day & I have noticed that my emotions or my level of energy takes a significant toll on my running for the day. I ran slightly longer than I ran yesterday at a similar rate, but I was just exhauted.

I had some pretty significant side cramps right at the end of my first mile, because I was sprinting. Luckily, I read a little about different problems that can happen when you are running. One issue in the article that I read was cramps in the side or the chest. The article said that the biggest contributor to cramps like that is breathing. So after that, I slowed down to a jogging pace and slowed my breathing. It helped a lot. I was still struggling for the entire run, which cut my mileage today, somewhat. That's tough, but at least I was out there & running.

I am going to try to concentrate more on my breathing while I am running. I haven't ever really concentrated on my breathing before, so that's going to be a significant change for me. It's important though, especially as I'm training for a marathon.

It would be great if I was able to run more often, but these time constraints are getting to me. Running is such a great stress relief... when I'm not too overwhelmed.

I'm exhausted. mmm.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 171.01 miles/86 days
To go: 828.99 miles/279 days

Monday, February 1, 2010

marathon searching.

So in the exciting news tonight: I have acquired two new followers, which has doubled my public readership. Yipee! Welcome.

Again, I was busy over the weekend and did not run. It looks like this semester will be very different than last semester. My favorite post work Sunday runs don't seem to be much of a possibility this semester. Somehow, it seems to just figure that my last semester would be my most difficult semester so far. Not so much in stress level, but in amounts of papers, tests, and projects that I have due. Some last semester.

Anyways, I'm not going to allow school to cut significantly into my running this semester. In that sense, something is obviously going to have to give in my life or else I just won't have the time to complete my thousand miles. However, I'm not going to allow that to happen. I think that I might have to cut my hours at work... or cut into my sleep, but that is not going to last for very long. (already last week one day, I slept through my alarm and was 30 minutes late to work. ugh.) I'm not ready to cut my hours significantly quite yet, so that's going to have to wait a few more weeks, but it's likely to happen. There's just no way that one person can juggle all that I am trying to juggle and survive. It's that simple.

I had a nice run this evening. My pace was wonderful, my timing was great. I didn't even struggle as much as I normally do through the first mile. It was nice to be back out there running again. Tomorrow, I really want to do a long run, homework, weather, and time permitting. Hopefully, I get the majority of a large paper done tomorrow during breaks between classes so that I can really get out there and hit the pavement. (interjection: Am I the only person who adores the phrase "hitting the pavement"?? I think it's wonderful.) I've been planning out my runs in my schedule book so that I am sure to get the mileage done that I want to have done. Admittedly, that's a little nerdy... and we won't even get into what Freud might say about that. With a little planning, I should be able to get some great runs in. I'm just worried about tomorrow's run, because I am a little bit behind on my paper that I have due on Wednesday. These days just fly by.

Tomorrow after I go to the bank, I intend to sign up for Goofy's Challenge. It's a HUGE commitment and a big chunk of money, but I really want to do it. I KNOW that I can. I want to join some kind of a runner's community, though, particularly with people who are training to run Goofy. Now, I think that I need to find a race to run this summer or early fall, a full marathon, just so that I'm completely prepared for what I'm getting myself into... though I might not ever be completely prepared. Ha. I am really excited about it though. I guess that I'm on an official marathon search!

I'm so immersed in running. I've got my Runner's World to read when I have those few moments of free time and I have some running books that I've been working on.. slowly. I think I'm turning into a geek. haha.

Now just to catch up in my mileage to where I should be.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 167.64 miles/86 days
To go: 832.36 miles/279 days