Halloween Halfathon Race Recap

Yesterday, I ran the Halloween Halfathon in St. Petersburg. I went into the race hoping for a PR, but not being too excited about it. Actually, I've  been a little jaded lately and not too excited about very much of anything. Anyways, my friend Alyssa suggested that I go run with her and her cousin, so I decided to drag Katherine with me.

We decided to dress up for the race. Kath made tutus for both of us, which was really fun. I was Cruella (scariest villan ever) and she went as a "dark fairy/butterfly". Alyssa was Tinkerbell and her cousin, Bria, ran as Ariel. Though I had a lot of trouble getting really excited for the race, I was excited about the costumes.

Yesterday, we arrived at the race JUST in time for it to start. No joke. I put my chip on my shoe and then we started. It was intense. I felt sluggish from the start. I don't know if it was my lack of sleep (but I never sleep well before a race), not eating the same way as I normally do pre-race, or just my overall exhaustion lately. I was REALLY worried that I wasn't going to PR. I pushed it pretty hard for the first three miles, knowing that I ran at least 6 miles of ToT AND Chicago before a walk break. I really slowed down and walked at three... but still walk/ran and was under the pace that I needed to smash my PR. I was hanging in there.

At about mile 4.5, I thought I saw Katherine walking toward me. I was super confused. She's never come back to me before and was gunning for a PR this race, too. I was glad to see her, because I was really struggling.. a lot. She said that she had been lonely and knew she wouldn't get her PR, so she turned around. Even though I was in a terrible mood, I'm grateful that she did turn around.

Major complaint: there were not enough water stops during this race. I am used to a water stop every 1.5 miles... in almost every race that I have ever participated in. Not this time. They were 3-4 miles apart. I was REALLY thirsty each time we got to a water stop and had to grab at least two cups each time. When I got to the stop at mile 9, they were completely out of both Gatorade and water. That was my breaking point. I walked for the next two miles and cried. I felt like I couldn't finish and I was upset. I've never had a meltdown during a race before. I was frustrated with myself for being too slow, for having an awful race. I've run SO many halfs before that I was confident that the distance wasn't too tough.. that I would easily surpass my PR. I felt more fit than I had a year ago when I raced my 2:50 that is my current personal record. I just couldn't do it.

I finished in 3:08. I still don't feel okay with it.

I don't know what happened. I don't know why I felt so terrible or why everything fell apart. I'm still frustrated and unhappy.

Goal: 1000 miles/366 days

So far: 707.31 miles/303 days
To go: 292.69 miles/63 days

**okay. I guess that I'm a little excited that I hit 700 miles. I didn't think I'd get there this month. It's been really tough. 

Chicago Marathon Recap!!!!!

I guess it is about time that I write my Chicago Marathon race report. It's been a week since the race now and I've been home (sick!) and wishing that it wasn't over. Anyways...

Last Thursday was my 26th birthday. It started with breakfast with Katherine (and Mickey, Pluto, Lilo, and Stitch!) at O'Hana's. Then, we hit Downtown Disney for a little bit of shopping before I had to come back and finish packing before my flight. (It's practically a birthday tradition to hit Downtown Disney!)

I flew up to Indiana to spend the rest of my birthday with family. I haven't spend my actual birthday in my hometown since 2006. My mom, sister, and I went out for dinner and drinks (only for my mom and I), then my brother and his fiancee went to get appetizers with us later that night. Yes, appetizers post dinner. That is, by the way, what began my terrible pre-race eating. Bad choices all around.

Friday, I had lots of appointments. I finally met my baby cousin, Wyatt, who is now five months old! That was fun. Then, we had a big birthday party for me. Super fun! I haven't had a big family gathering like that in a very long time. I got to see almost all of my favorite people in one place at one time. So yay for that! I got lots of well wishes for my race. 

Saturday morning, it was time to head to Chicago. My nerves were going insane the entire drive. I slept off and on and felt nervous for the rest of the time. I felt like the drive took no time at all and all of a sudden, we were at the expo. Major freak out. I was nervous and anxious and feeling unprepared for the race. I sucked it up and we went and expo-ed for a while. I'd have to say that Chicago is the coolest race expo that I have been to so far. I bought some new shoes and a t-shirt... and some energy gels (because I need them!). We walked around for a while and looked at things. It was truthfully very very fun.

When we finally decided that it was time to leave the expo, we went to my mom's friend/my godmother's house to spend the night. We sat up chatting for a little while, ate some more birthday cake (!), then got everything together for the race. I was so amazed that it was almost time to run Chicago. I couldn't believe it. I'd put so much into training for the race and it was here. I didn't sleep well at all. I've never been so nervous before a race in my life.

We got up in the morning and dressed in layers. (It wasn't even 40 degrees out yet! I live in Florida now!) Then we headed to downtown Chicago. We got there super early and went to a McDonald's to use the bathroom and my mom wanted to eat. I was still too nervous. Eventually, we made it to the starting corrals and ended up being some of the first people in the last corral. That was fun. We stood there shivering for a little while. I still was not excited about the race at all. I don't know what the problem was. I was just really nervous about the race and had been for months.

Finally, it was time to start and things really started moving. When we crossed the start line, I half expected that my mom and I would stay together for a little bit. I turned around after a few minutes and she wasn't there. That was okay though. I felt really strong for the first several miles of the race. I ran my first 5k split at at a 12:33 pace (That's almost a 5k PR for me). My 10k was 14: 02 pace (I stopped for the bathroom right before the 10k mark.) and my 15k was 13:23. I felt SO good for my first half of the race. I actually felt really good until about mile 17.

Then I ran out of gas. Hit the wall. Whatever.

I walked several miles after that and kept beating myself up about it. I was exhausted and sick (did I mention that yet? I've been sick for about two weeks now. Awful.), but I kept pushing forward. It eventually hit me that I wasn't going to run a 6 hour marathon. Then I slowed down more.

I finished in 6:31:45. I'm disappointed. I know that if I hadn't gone so fast out of the gate, I would not have run out of gas and I would have met my goal. Still, I ran a 16 minute PR, so I'm glad for that.

I did LOVE the race though. It was cold (I ran with my hat and gloves on the entire time), but the city was wonderful. There were SO many people cheering there. It was so fun to run between skyscrapers and to see things in the city that I've been to many times. I love Chicago and I'm glad that I got to have the memory of running in it. I pushed myself harder than I have before (for 17 miles haha.) and felt awesome.

A few of my favorite things:

• giving children high 5s. I love when kids spectate. I gave MANY children high 5s.
• The "Nike Owns Chicago" section of the race. I think it was at 21 or 22. I was drained and my ankle was hurting at that point. Really awesome though! (I half wish I brought a camera.)
• Spectators!!!!
• "You have stamina! Call me!" Best. Sign. Ever. (Besides "McKayla is not impressed" that I saw at Disneyland.)
• Volunteers!! 
• Best expo I've ever been to. Hands down.
• Medical people giving out space blankets at mile 23/24. I needed it. 
• I got to stand at the finish line and hug my mom when she finished!

A couple disappointments:

• They ran out of medals before I finished. Bummer. I should be getting mine in the mail soon. (tomorrow?)
• Some of the people at the water stations stood waaay to far into the road and crowded it for the runners. 
• Running out of gas/hitting the wall. Boo. 
• Hill at mile 26. That hurt my feelings!
• Mostly the medal thing.
• I had gastrointestinal issues.

I've only run once since then. I'm trying to get healthier. I've been super sick. I do need to hop into Goofy training though. 

I learned some valuable lessons from this race. I plan to work a little harder at endurance and pacing myself. ..and not eating like crap.

I can't believe that it's over.

Goal: 1000 miles/366 days

So far: 678.06 miles/288 days

To go: 321.94 miles/78 days

Too many excuses, not enough work...

My mileage so far this week has been awful. So awful that I've come up with an excuse for it. Are you ready?

I probably should be tapering anyways so I don't kill all of my energy before Disneyland next weekend.

Good excuse or poor excuse, I'm not sure, but I'm embarrassed. There is no excuse for me not wanting to do my runs, but I just haven't wanted to. I haven't felt like it. Awful, right?

First, I'm dog sitting. This is Finn (and Katherine):

Don't get me wrong. I love dogs. Finn is one of the most laid back dogs that I have ever met. Yet, I find myself feeling bad for leaving him alone for periods of time, because I know he's already stressed out that his dad went on a cruise without him. He also wakes me up before I want to wake up because he needs to go outside. Generally, he's a great dog, though, so I'm lucky as far as that goes. I'm also staying at Finn's (Seth's) apartment right now. That means new running routes that I have to figure out on my own. Another excuse.

Along with that, I've been missing this face for the past week:

On Wednesday, my car wouldn't start. A new alternator and new battery later, I have Lola the car back, but not without a hefty bill. Just what I needed.

Yesterday, class started for me for the semester! Woo hoo! I'm so close to my Masters, I can almost feel it. I'm just exhausted and stressed out about it already. I have really high expectations for myself this semester. I know that I CAN do it. I just need to push myself hard enough to do it. I'm also REALLY stressed about finding a full time job in my field. I don't even know where to begin my search.

So. Much. Stress.
So that's why I've been slacking. Those are all of the excuses that I've been running through my head. I already know I won't be doing my 20 miler on Sunday. I'm planning to cut it to like... 9 or 10, because of time constraints and a semi-taper before California. Ugh.

I'm drained.

I did four miles on Tuesday after work and four miles today before work. I guess that's something.

Goal: 1000 miles/366 days
So far: 530.15 miles/237 days
To go: 469.85 miles/129 days

...something to say about motivation.

I don't really have time to write. I have to leave for work in five minutes or so. Blah. (Did I tell you that I don't like working at night? Because I don't. It annoys me.)

Today Kath and I ran together. We did a little over eight and a half miles. It was really tough. For the first time outside of a race, I thought I was going to throw up. I've never felt sick during a training run before. I didn't even push myself too hard. I'm not sure what the problem was with my body. My breakfast was healthy and pretty light (a bagel with peanut butter and a slice of turkey ham). Ijust felt miserable. The. Whole. Time.

There's something to say for motivation though. I pulled it out in the end. I cut my average pace from 16 to 15:30 in the last three miles. (I'm really unhappy with that pace.) I'm glad I found the motivation to push past my barriers and move forward. I think that's pretty awesome.

I just wish I didn't have to dig so deep sometimes.

Goal: 1000 miles/366 days
So far: 479.34 miles/225 days
To go: 520.66 miles/141 days

positives and negatives on long run day.

Long run day recap. Again.

Let's start with the positive things that happened during my run today... First, I ran the distance that I needed to. Though my toe is still swollen, it doesn't hurt at all when I'm running and only hurts some when I'm walking around. (I think that it mostly depends on what shoes that I am wearing. My work shoes are awful at squishing my toes. Ugh.) I'm ecstatic that I'm running again. I'm pleased that I only had to take a week off before I could run again. I'm glad that I did fourteen miles today. It takes a lot of mental strength to push it that hard and for that long. Yay for me.

I just wish that it was easier. I struggled a LOT today. My legs felt heavy and slow from the very beginning. I'm not sure how I ended up getting all of the miles in. I guess that I pushed it pretty hard, but my pace was way slower than I would have wanted it to be. ...frustrating. I KNOW that I can run faster and better than I ran today. I just don't know why I didn't do it today. I know that I should be pleased that I got the mileage that I needed, but I feel like my pace is pretty important, too.

I'm less than two months away from Chicago. I'm about three weeks from Disneyland. Then Tower of Terror 10 miler, then Chicago, then Wine & Dine, then the Jacksonville Distance Classic, then the Orlando Half, then Goofy (Dopey)! This is crazy. I just really want to make sure that my body is ready for all of this. I'm not sure that it is, because of tough runs like I had today. Frustrating...

I know that I can run the distance. I just want to get my pace to where I need it to be. I'm just feeling a little stuck right now, I guess. I don't know what the answer is... the magical motivation that I've been looking for.

I'm at a completely different sport than where I was last year at this time. My body is different and my training is so muh better. Frankly, I have no idea what my race pace might be. It has to be something better. I feel like I'm looking PRs in the face, I just don't know what they would be.

I'm also planning on adding personal training back into my regimen. I need it desperately. I can't find the motivation to strength train on my own. Another frustration...

Kath & I at 13 miles. Today was her furthest run in the history of her life!

Goal: 1000 miles/366 days
So far: 470.74 miles/224 days
To go: 529.26 miles/142 days

I hit 400 miles for the year! (finally) & starting Chicago Marathon training week 6

Yesterday was a crazy day, so I didn't do my normal Tuesday blog. I know, I know, sad right?! That's okay, though. I'll give everyone (all of my three faithful readers!) a quick update on my existence since long run day.

Yesterday was a 4 miler. I ran about two miles of it and walked and chatted with  my grandma on the phone for the other two miles. That's kind of like cheating, I guess. I just wasn't really feeling like being out there yesterday, so I'm glad that I went and did semi-okay. I killed it on the little over two miles that I did run, so that makes me feel a little bit better about it. It ended up being 4.25 miles at the end, so that was okay. I'm glad that I went.

(After I ran/walked, I had an appointment at school, then went to Seth and Andrea's birthday get together. It doesn't sound like a lot, but it felt like a busy day for a day off to me!)

Today was much less busy. I got up and didn't do a whole lot for the majority of the day. I went for a run after Katherine got off of work. We did seven miles today and it was ROUGH. I'm not really sure why it's been about two weeks since I have had a really good run, but it has gotten really frustrating. Maybe it's other things going on that is dampening my running. Even when I feel like I've had a decent pace and done well, I still have been frustrated with something about the run. I guess that's something that I really need to think about.

Anyways, the run today was really tough. We had to stop a few times to stretch out and it seemed like Katherine was struggling too. I felt like I could have cut a lot of time off and done a better job, but I didn't do it. I'm not sure what I need to change in order to have another really good training run. We ended up at a 14:50-ish pace, which, quite frankly, is really good for the both of us together. I do tend to walk and talk more when I'm with Katherine rather than run at a decent pace. I still feel like I could do a lot better. I'm just in a funk.

I do know that I need to start adding in some cross training and some serious weight training. I'm thinking about hitting the gym once or twice next week on my days off. I miss weight training and I'm tired of complaining about it and not making any changes. haha.

BUT in exciting news, I've finally hit 400 for the year! I do feel like my goal is reachable this year. Yay for me!

Goal: 1000 miles/366 days
So far: 406.73 miles/207 days
To go: 593.27 miles/159 days

like a hamster on a wheel.

Life can be overwhelming sometimes. I often wonder what happened to time.. or daylight, maybe. Didn't we just "save" daylight on Sunday? That's what I thought.

Somehow, my exhaustion from last month is carrying over into this month. I'm not where I wanted to be mileage, but right now I'm going back and forth on which is more important: running or school. Usually, school wins. Actually, I'm pretty sure school always needs to win. I WAS really dedicated to getting my goal a few months ago, but I feel like, with midterms and papers, my non-school goals are sort of falling by the wayside. It's sort of awful.

I sit here and go through the "what ifs" in my head sometimes. What IF I had a normal job when I wasn't working 3 pm to 1 or 2 am..? What IF I didn't have grad school on top of everything else? What IF I was more serious about it? What IF I didn't feel lazy much of the time? What IF I didn't let little setbacks hold me back for a long time? What IF I lived somewhere that I felt safe enough to run outside at night?

It's sort of crazy, because I know that I can't sit here and think about the "what if(s)" all of the time. I just do it anyways. Maybe I'm too hard on myself. (actually, let's be realistic... I KNOW that I'm too hard on myself.) It is really hard for me to get out of that frame of mind sometimes. I know how I SHOULD look at things, but then I see my mistakes or my misgivings and they seem pretty strong. I need to give myself more opportunities to make mistakes.

Anyways, today I had a midterm and spent much of the day trying to study and mentally prepare for it. (another reason I didn't run yesterday. I'm not sure if that's a valid excuse or not...) Kath and I decided to hit the gym tonight, so I decided that running on either the treadmill or on the track would work. I was WRONG.

I really struggled at the gym today. Kath and I lifted for a little bit, then went on the rower for about 15 minutes or so. After THAT, we hit the track. Sort of. I thought, maybe, we'd go five miles. Negative. Before we even got to one mile, I felt like I just didn't want to be there. I don't know what my problem is. So we ran/walked... and ran/walked some more. I started to feel like a hamster running on a wheel. It was a little bit miserable. I kept thinking about how I wanted to be outside and how much more freeing it is to run outdoors.

I just don't even know what to do anymore. I'm busy a lot of the time. I don't like running at night around here, but then again, I don't like treadmills and I don't like tracks. What else is there but for me to be whiny and complain-y? I need to open up my mind more, I guess. That's something that I need to think about.

Tomorrow I have a personal training session AND class. I'd love to fit in a run, too. I'm going to do my best. I'm logical enough to know that my best is all I can give. But I'm emotional enough to understand that sometimes my best doesn't FEEL like enough.

Goal: 1000 miles/366 days
So far: 187.71 miles/74 days
To go: 812.29 miles/292 days

too much too soon.

I was supposed to have a training session today, but my trainer called and cancelled, unfortunately. My plan was to train with him and then put in a few miles on the treadmill. By a few, I was planning on 3-4ish miles. Instead, I didn't train and I decided to shoot for 7 miles.

When I decided to run 7 miles, I didn't think about how my legs would probably feel, considering I raced over the weekend. I did check the weather, but it lied to me (I think). So I went out and, initially, my run went pretty well. I was at a 13 minute pace for the first three miles, but then I started to feel a little miserable. It was hot- probably in the mid 80s rather than the low 70s like I thought it was supposed to be. I started to cramp up in my stomach AND my legs felt like bricks. By that point, though, I was three miles away from my apartment, so there was no quick way to get home. I sat down on a bench for a little bit, but then got up and kept moving.

I decided to try to stick it out, so I ran to the end of the trail that I usually take when I go run, then I turned around and came back. I ran/walked the majority of the way back, but still felt a little awful. I ended up walking the last mile and didn't quite finish out the entire 7 miles (6.76 was my final distance). When I got home, I was still in a lot of pain and couldn't really get around. I think part of it was that I was really dehydrated, because, although I brought water with me, it was much hotter than I anticipated. I definitely lost a lot of body fluid due to sweat.

I even thought about skipping class because I felt so miserable, but I sucked it up and went.

Anyways, the moral of the story is: I need to spend more time listening to my body when I run. I need to stop expecting too much out of myself or I'll never accomplish the goals that I've set. I definitely set myself up for a tough run today. I'm glad I was able to make it home semi-okay, but it was probably a bad idea that I went as far as I did.

Goal: 1000 miles/366 days
So far: 155.96 miles/59 days
To go: 844.04 miles/307 days

Dick Batchelor's Race for the Children 5k: the Recap

Today was 5k day! Naturally, I didn't sleep last night. Maybe I should start taking sleeping pills on the night before a race. That seems like it would be the only logical way to beat the pre-race nerves. I think that no matter what the race distance is, I have a tough time getting mentally prepared for it. I think about previous race PR's and how fast I want to run. I really give my mind a rough time.

So my goal was to PR. The last 5k that I ran (besides Disney, in which I stopped for a ton of pictures) was a year and a half ago. It was about a week before I moved from Indiana and it was along the parade route of my favorite hometown summer parade. It was so fun! So my goal was to beat that time... and to get 12 minute miles, flat.

However, I had a few problems that could get in the way:

• I got no sleep the night before (so frustrating)
• Like a moron, I ran 10 miles yesterday. When I run long distance, I still clench up my back a lot. Thus, my back was KILLING me all night.
• I am still slow. Like I was a year and a half ago... even though I have lost 10 pounds since then. Just saying. 
• It was a "fun run", so no official timing. I'd have to go entirely by my GPS.. so I'd have to start it just on time and stop it just on time.

So commence the run.

Mile 1

Mile 1 was good. I was ahead of my 12 minute mile pace and it was super fun to run though the Universal Parks. Living in Orlando for a year, I still have never been to Universal. That is partially because I go to school full time and work for the mouse. It's also partially because I'm lazy. haha. So mile 1 went well. I was under a twelve minute pace when I got to the mile marker. Most of the mile was through CityWalk and just entering the actual park.

Mile 2

I was still going strong at the beginning of mile 2. I wanted to run the whole thing, but my back was telling me no! ha. So I ended up walking a little bit during mile 2. We got to run through Hogsmeade, which was the best part, by far. I'm sooo looking forward to going to Universal just to see the Harry Potter area. Someday, hopefully soon(ish). That was so exciting. I ended up slowing down my pace too much during mile 2 and ended up with a 12:22 pace when I got to the mile marker. 

Mile 3 

During mile 3, it was all about trying to get my PR. I pushed it. I did walk a little bit and stopped at a water station. I don't know why I stopped, because I was close enough to the finish to just push it through. That probably cost me about 30-40 seconds. I was super excited when we were almost there and I felt like I might be able to make it and PR, even though I had walked and stopped for water. The finish was spectacular, but aren't they all?

I ended up with 38:37 (according to the GPS), which I knew was close to my previous personal record.

When we got back to the car, naturally, I looked up my PR on my phone and found that... it was 38:37. Initially, I was pissed. Then I decided to give myself the benefit of the doubt, because I waited at least two seconds before I turned off my GPS. haha. I am way too uptight.

Anyways. Good race. 

The first picture is an image of my finishing the Three Rivers Runners on parade in July 2010. That was my first 5k and a really fun race. 

The bottom picture is me after finishing the race today. Good times.

Lots of things in my life have changed in the past year and a half Running will pretty much always be there for me though.




So far: 95.11 miles/28 days
To go: 904.89 miles/338 days

the hard times remind me to recognize the easier moments in life

I'm really having a hard time getting myself up and out there running this week. I think it might be because I don't have any runs lined up anytime soon. I'm thinking about running a 5k in a week with Katherine, just to get myself back into it. (first, I have to convince Kath to do it, though.) OR, there is a race this Saturday, a 5.2k (random), but I don't have anybody to run it with. So that's a decision I need to make soon. I just really like races, I guess. It helps me to have goals to keep going.

So anyways, today I got myself out and went on a run. Yay for me. It was a plan to run for 6 miles and the goal was to try to pace it out pretty well. I noticed in some of the video and pictures from Disney Marathon  Weekend that I take really short strides and that I don't really lift my feet when I run. I feel like if I put some effort into my stride, I might be able to easily speed my pace up a lot. So I worked on that and was doing pretty well for the first 3 miles or so.. then the pain started to set in.

So, I ran about three and a half miles and then walked a little less than three miles.

I'm just frustrated that I've set this major goals for myself and I really want to get myself in the best shape of my life this year and it's so difficult when I have major pain in my body. I understand that I'm [still] overweight and that I have to give myself time to allow my body to adjust to what I want to do. I just feel like this is something I've been working on for two and a half years... and in that time I've run 8 half marathons, 2 full marathons, and 2 5ks. Why should it still be so rough?

I know that it's just one step in front of the other, but in some ways it feels like so much more than that. It feels like my journey should be moving faster than it has and it is frustrating. I don't know anymore... I want to be a runner.

I just still feel like I'm that obese girl who drinks a case of Mountain Dew every week. I know I've come a long way since then, but it really just feels like

I guess I'm just struggling today.
Tomorrow may be better. I hope.

I know that today's run was rough, BUT I kept moving. I know that I have come a long way in my journey. I know that it is the little moments in life that get me through. It's just hard to look at things through that perspective sometimes.

So far: 66.1 miles/19 days
To go: 933.9 miles/347 days

Sick and disappointed.

I am sick today. Actually, I haven't felt this sick since I started my epilepsy medicine. My entire brain aches. I had hoped to get a lot accomplished today, but unfortunately, I did not have the energy. I hardly have had enough energy to get out of bed or even sit up. It's terrible.

I'm just disappointed that I haven't worked out today. I set a one month goal and I'm not going to be able to finish it. That sucks. Eh. Whatever.

Here are my race medals. Just a little photo since I can hardly think enough to write anything of substance whatsoever.