Finally getting my groove back

Today, I ran.
I feel like I should be proud of my accomplishment, considering what a hectic few weeks that I've had. So I am a little proud. At the same time, I'm somewhat disappointed that I have taken way too much time off of running lately.

There's no purpose to beating myself up about it, though.

Today, I did ten miles. My goal was somewhere between 9 and 15, but I had a late start, so I sorta knew that 15 was out of the picture. I really don't want to kill myself with running before two weeks of races, also. (Whose idea was that...?!)

My ten miles went really well. I did about 6.5 of them with Katherine and the rest by myself. She caught up with me after she got home from work and changed. My legs felt awesome until the last mile or so, then I started to get worn out. I'm a little concerned about that, considering Chicago is less than two weeks away. I just have to keep pushing it and thinking positive thoughts. Racing feels a lot different than training for some reason. Too often, training runs feel like they drag on endlessly.

I've also noticed that I've started getting really hungry. All of the time. It started at about the time that I started kicking up my training in late June and early July. I'm not sure if it is normal or not. I guess that it probably is a normal thing when training so many hours per week. I just need to start focusing on eating correctly rather than constantly consuming crappy food. I have weight I want to lose and I want my body to be at it's best. That's my goal. I'm tired of being stuck in the same weight range, when I know that I have another 20 pounds to lose.

I've signed up for this year's Triathlon Challenge. It's an October month long challenge through the UCF gym to try to complete an Ironman distance race within the month of October. I did it last year and the bike was REALLY tough. I'm toying with the idea of doing a triathlon in Indiana next summer, so I think this will help me get my head on straight. I also think I can do it a little bit more successfully than I did last year. 

Anyways. Ten miles today in the books. Lots of fun. Good run for once. Back at it tomorrow.

Goal: 1000 miles/366 days

So far: 621.01 miles/268 days

To go: 378.99 miles/98 days

Trying to be the best I can be.

Seven miles has not been as tough as it was today for a long time. My legs felt like lead and my mind just was not into it. However, I powered through.

I could complain about how tired I was and how much I wanted to give up for... 6 of the 7 miles, but I won't. It would be too monotonous... and whiny. I'm pretty sure that it would even annoy me.

A few good things about today's run:

• It is done! Seven more miles in the books. I can't believe how close I am to being at the Chicago Marathon right now. Insane..
• It was supposed to storm all afternoon, which I was dreading. It didn't. I just heard thunder outside... six hours after my run.. It was nice to have a dry run for once.
• I passed a few people on my run today. (That hardly happens. Unless the people are walking.) That was in the first few miles, though. I definitely slowed down after mile 4.

"If you want to become the best runner you can be, start now. Don't spend the rest of your life wondering if you can do it." -Priscilla Welch

Goal: 1000 miles/366 days
So far:  587.27 miles/253 days
To go: 412.73 miles/113 days

Disneyland Half Marathon Recap

I have been AWFUL. I didn't run for a little over a week... after all of this time living by my training plan, I just stopped. Ugh. I'm extremely frustrated with myself, but trying not to beat myself up about it too much. I know that I can just deal with it and move on.

SO. Disneyland Half Marathon race report!
I have officially added a third state to my "states that I've raced in" list. (Indiana, Florida, and California! ...and Illinois is next!)

My mom, sister, and Katherine came to California. We have dubbed ourselves "Team 3 Catholics and a Protestant." We've been planning the Disneyland Half Marathon trip since January, when we decided that we wanted to do the Coast to Coast Challenge. Basically, to participate, a person has to run in a RunDisney half or full marathon in both California and Florida. Back in January, Kath and Kailey (my baby sister) ran the "Donald" half marathon, while my mom and I participated in the "Goofy Challenge" (half & full in two days). (to be honest, I did the 5k, too, so I'm, unofficially, "Dopey". I also ran the Princess half in February.) So yes. That's when we decided to do the Coast to Coast.

We had so much fun! None of us had ever been to Disneyland, so it was fun experiencing the parks and the surrounding areas. We got to do so many fun things. But the most fun... was running.

We got up at 4:00 California time (7 my time) for the race on Sunday morning. We all whined and dragged ourselves out of bed to depart at 4:30.. or that was the goal. I don't think we left the hotel until closer to 4:45. Then my mom realized she forgot her parfait, which is her traditional race morning breakfast. Then she realized she forgot her Minnie ears, which she was looking forward to wearing. The last straw was when she realized that she did not have her ipod, either. That's when she went back to the room. The rest of us trudged onward without her. (my mom ended up catching a shuttle to the start while the other three of us walked! not even fair.)

We all started together in Corral D and planned to run together to the first character photo opportunity. Then the race started and we started running. Somehow, I got into a really nice groove and then realized that I was running without anybody on my "team". Oops. Then Kath caught up with me and we ran together to the first photo stop.

Green Army Men! A RunDisney picture tradition.

After that, Kath ran ahead and I stayed in my groove. I felt really good and didn't really have to take walk breaks at all, which really surprised me. It is really the first race that was like that for me. When we got into Disneyland Park, I saw Katherine in line for a picture and jumped in with her. 

How could I resist Tiana, Naveen, and Louis?!

We decided to run through the rest of the park together and stop for pictures when we could, knowing that the majority of the race did not take part on Disney property. So we did. We had to run through some pretty intense crowds, but overall, we did pretty well and passed a lot of people. (I feel like my pace has really improved and I didn't really know until Sunday.) 

The rest of the race was really fun! (I didn't get many pictures, but that's okay.) We ran through the Anaheim Angels' baseball stadium, which was awesome. It was really crowded, though, and on the way out, I twisted my right ankle trying to pass people. (Yep. The one that I've hurt countless times in the past.) I decided to walk the rest of the race and throw out all hope of getting an awesome finishing time. I knew I had to be careful, because I REALLY want to do well in Chicago. As much as I wanted to finish strong, I knew I shouldn't push it. So I walked. For three. Long. Miles.

The Team!

The race was fun though. I had a fantastic time! (the vacation part was great too!) I want to go back! 

I'm back to Chicago training though. Kath and I did four easy (EASY) miles today and it was fun. It's nice to be back in the swing of things. (sort of. I still want to go back.)

Goal: 1000 miles/366 days

So far: 547.8 miles/248 days

To go: 452.2 miles/118 days

Training Week Six Day Four!

Today was a four miler. I took Katherine with me and we ended up doing almost four and a half miles.

I was feeling extremely tired the entire time, but I'm really glad that I got it done. It was hot and my body was just annoyed that I kept going when I just wanted to be lazy. I definitely haven't gotten that obese girl out of me yet. I still have MANY days when I feel like I'm still the girl who just wants to sit around all of the time. The difference is that I am able to push past it now and keep going. There's a sense of courage or something in me that can go further than I expect some days.

Tomorrow is a LONG run day and I'm a little nervous. Fourteen miles...

Goal: 1000 miles/366 days
So far: 417.38 miles/210 days
To go: 582.62 miles/156 days

It's a blustery day out there.

Today was fantastic running weather, but not weather that I am used to running in. It's so crazy that a year and a half ago, I was in Indiana, running in that bipolar weather, but now I'm in Florida, running in hot weather all of the time. Now on a windy, cool day in the low 70s, my body is super confused, where a year and a half ago, I'd have loved to go out and run.

Initially, my goal was to run 10 miles today, but I left late and my grandparents are in town, so it didn't work out. I ended up going for 7, and the first 4 miles were fantastic. I was at an even 13 minute pace the entire time, which sounds slow, but is fantastic for me. After four miles though, I slowed down tremendously. It got really windy outside, which made me feel like I was running against a brick wall and getting nowhere. I slowed down my pace to a walk-run, which frustrated me, but I felt like I had to do it.

I almost didn't finish out my entire 7 miles, because I was getting too frustrated with the wind and my pace, but I stuck it out anyways. I guess that's something. I had to do an extra lap around my apartment complex after I got home, but I stuck it out and finished my run. That's good news. I didn't keep my 13 minute pace, but ended up at 14:40, which did irritate me, but maybe I just need to think about the positives. My mental strength definitely isn't where I wish that it could be, but I guess there's still time for that to change.

I am definitely glad that I stuck it out and went out to run. It was colder than I'm used to and it was windy. The running conditions were actually fantastic, but just confusing to my body. Ugh. Tomorrow will be  better. I promise.

Goal: 1000 miles/366 days
So far: 169.55 miles/66 days
To go: 830.45 miles/300 days

back at it. again.

I haven't blogged in a while. Frankly, I haven't run in a while. :( Oops. I've been kind of overwhelmed with life.

Sometimes, it feels like I'm just a quitter. I mean, I've never trained very well for a race and I didn't meet my goal for 1000 miles in a year the last time that I tried it. I wished that I would have a good job by now, but I don't. I think that I do spend too much time focusing on my failures rather than on the positive parts of my life. It's something that I definitely need to work on.

The past week and a half (or so) since I've really run have been pretty mentally tough. I've been overwhelmed with work and school, which has been getting to me.. and has caused  me to avoid running a little bit. I just "haven't felt like it"- which is the oldest excuse in the book. I do need to try to work on being more positive and remembering that running is a great escape when I need it.

I also haven't strength trained in a while, which is another thing that I need to get back to. I miss it. I'm planning to go to the gym tonight after I get out of class.

Anyways, today I went out there for a middle-distance type run. It was almost six and a half miles and it went okay. I was having some muscle cramps in my thigh, which I think are related to something that I did at work.. (too much heavy lifting. lol) It went okay, a little slower than I like, but that's okay. At least I got out there and pushed it.

Goal: 1000 miles/366 days
So far: 125.16 miles/46 days
To go: 874.84 miles/320 days

a little positivity goes a long way

I'm becoming really bad at posting on my blog. I keep thinking about it, but it's hard to actually go through with sitting down and writing down my thoughts when I'm honestly exhausted 95% of the time. Ugh.

When I got a stocking position at work, I went from working mornings to working nights, since I don't have as much senority as the other stockers. It has made my body so confused, because I'm used to getting up early and going to work, coming home, then getting things done. It's pretty tough to change all of that, so I'm definitely struggling to get up in the morning and get things done before work. It is getting a little bit better, though.. slowly. Yesterday and Tuesday, I got up and worked on homework in the morning before class. Tuesday and today, I had personal training sessions at noon, so that forced me to get ready earlier.

Both of my training sessions went very well this week. I went into both of them with a positive attitude. That's not to say that I frequently am negative, but it can be really tough to get a good workout in when I'm being pushed beyond limits that I'm comfortable with. That's the reason that I hired my trainer, though, so I'm thankful for that. I am noticing strength in my body that I didn't have before and I KNOW that inches are coming off of me. It's just that my numbers on the scale are changing so slowly that it's unbelievable. I don't get excited when I weigh myself anymore, which adds to my negativity. I know that is strongly impacted by my eating habits, which are horrendous. I'm trying. Or at least I keep say that I'm trying. It's definitely a struggle ALL of the time.

Anyways, I went into both personal training workouts this week telling myself to try not to complain. That's pretty simple. I complain a lot actually when I'm working out, even if it's just a funny side comment here or there, I feel like I'm too negative and I don't like it. So, it made a huge difference. I also feel like both workouts were extrmely difficult.. probably two of the most tough workouts that I have had in months. Today, for instance, I wasn't 100% sure that I would be able to walk afterward, because I had pushed myself THAT hard. My legs still feel like jello two hours later.. and when I walk, it's more like floating than walking. Hopefully nobody is staring at me. haha.

I think that having a positive attitude definitely impacted my workout, though. I feel like I pushed through some barriers that I couldn't have done last week. I know that feeling sorry for myself has kind of crushed my ability to live up to my full potential. Yes, bad things have happened in my life. I've spent plenty of time feeling sorry for myself because of it though. It isn't fair to me to let the difficult parts of life crush the potential that I could be living to.

I keep trying to think of little things that I can change.

One major goal that I'm working toward is to complete a triathlon next summer. On my way to accomplishing that goal, I found a great local bike shop with really great prices. (now I just need a second job to save money! bahaha.) I also signed up for a "triathlon challenge" at my university's gym. Basically, over the month of October, I will complete a total of the mileage of a triathlon (2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, and 26.2 mile run)  while at the gym and it will be recorded there. I'm actually really excited about the prospect.

...now if I could just stop eating waffle fries....
...or just keep my food journal regularly as I should.

trying to motivate myself to run again.

It seems like my ankle had some kind of horrible reaction to the tape that I was using for it. I have an itchy rash all over my foot and ankle, plus my skin is sort of rough and disgusting. If it isn't one thing, it's another with that ankle. I'm starting to worry that I'll never be able to run again. That's just my negativity talking. I know that I'll get out and run again. Naturally, I'll have to. It's the only way that I will be able to accomplish all of my lofty goals. haha.

I'm at least glad that I've been able to find other ways to get myself to the point that I want to. Weight lifting and other exercises have definitely been making a difference in my life. My body image is getting a little bit better, too. I am getting a little bit concerned about working my leg muscles at the same rate as my arms. Naturally, with grad school, work, studying, and everything else, I don't have time to go out to the gym daily. That cuts out a lot of the machines that I would be using for my legs. I am trying to be able to change up my exercises regularly and still work my leg muscles too. All of the noticeable changes thus far have been in my arms and my stomach, which is GREAT, but I'd like to see changes in my legs too. If I could run again, that would definitely solve that problem, but my ankle hurts every other day.

I'm writing a paper about governmental policy and interventions dealing with obesity in the United States... and naturally, with perfect timing, the food pyramid changed to a food plate today. That will definitely add quite an interesting angle to my research. I'm excited about it for sure. Most of my papers lately have dealt with social media, because that's primarily where my research interests lie, but my class this summer is a comm & government class, so I couldn't really figure out how to fit blogging or twitter into that box. I'm definitely interested in the fitness field (obviously), and learning more about it will definitely just drive that further.

I am interested to see how long this food plate lasts. I don't know a whole lot about it yet, just that it's already being highly criticized. I guess that I will find out a lot more about it while I'm researching all summer long.

I wish I could sign up for some races. I definitely need a race to motivate me. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that I can with the ankle pain that I'm in. I'm considering trying to find a short race- a 5k or something in order to get myself back out there again. I feel like I need to start slowly in that manner. Naturally, combined with lots of ice. haha. Maybe I will look into that tomorrow or Saturday. It's actually not a terrible idea.

Big dreamers can do big things.

I didn't participate in National Running Day like I intended to. Frankly, I am disappointed in myself. I feel like there was more that I could have done to really commemorate the day. My original intention was to go to the gym. Little did I know that my book for class would be a pain in the rear to get ahold of and I had to stay home until the mail came in order to get it and read it before class (yeah.... and it won't even be here until tomorrow anyways. Ugh!!). That excuse is sort of lame. So, I decided to either go to the gym in the morning and come back to study for my quiz [that ended up being postponed] or to just run-walk [i am still trying to allow my ankle maximum healing time] outside for an hour or so in between studying. I ended up pretty much deciding just to run outside for a while nad do some weight training in my apartment in order to save maximum time.

So. I got up, read a little bit, had my vitamins, grabbed some breakfast and a big water bottle, and sat down at my computer to start my school work. About 20 minutes into that, I heard rain. I looked out the window and it was pouring. So, I figured I'd give it an hour and the rain would stop. Then, I heard that it was thundering... then I was reading the news and saw that there were bad storms coming through. So frustrating. Then the ankle pain started.... Needless to say, I didn't make it outside and I didn't make it to the gym. I'm for sure frustrated with myself for not going, because, although some of it was out of my control, I could have made some changes and done some things differently in order to ensure that I ran today, but I didn't. I am trying to take it easy on my ankle, though, because I do want to run again someday. It wouldn't be worth it to push myself too hard and never be able to run again. That would suck.

I am still doing my daily workouts though. I have a little over two weeks left of my month of daily work outs. It was a goal that I set for myself after I read someone else's blog in which they set a goal for a month for themselves. I think that it's an interesting idea to try to change yourself by making a fairly short term goal. I think that it opens a lot of possibilities for learning and changing. After this month is up, I will probably try to continue working out at least a little bit daily, but also adding another month long goal. I haven't really decided what my next goal will be, though. I have a few weeks to think about it though, I suppose.

I do still feel fairly optimistic. I was talking to a girl that I've had in some classes today about fitness, because she said she felt inspired by me when I talked about running Goofy's Challenge in class.. and she was so inspired that she'd decided to do a 5k this summer. Hearing things like that really are touching and inspiring for me. I feel like if I can inspire her in that way, I definitely can do huge things like I have wanted to do since I was a child. I have always dreamed of being huge: a novelist, President, an athlete, and so on and so forth. I already have felt like I can do big things in life, but actually hearing that I've had an influence in that way is a really positive thing for me. I definitely want to continue to be able to inspire people. Anyways, I told her about some of my other goals and relayed my frustrationgs with my ankle, which was cool for me. I don't really feel like I ahve a ton of people that I can talk about fitness with like that, so that was really neat for me. I am glad that I got to have that conversation. I feel like I should be able to reach for a triathlon and reach for completing Boston someday.

I do dream big don't I? But, how else is there to dream? I have to be able to have huge dreams in order to achieve big things. All I've ever wanted was to make changes in the world. I know that I can do it. I just have to reach for it and push myself to my limit and beyond.