Monday, January 11, 2010

discouraged.

So, I guess in being completely honest here, which is part of the point of keeping a blog about a journey to running, I have to say that some days I despise the entire idea of going running. Some days, I just want to quit. I've quit a lot of things in my life, but this is one that I haven't quit yet- but it also has a completion date, so of course I have a point that I will get to so that I can just be done. However, today, I wanted to just quit running altogether and pretend that I never even began.

I sit in class and think about what time I'm going to run and how many miles (roundabout) that I'm going to complete. When I'm going to work, I think about what time I get off and when I'm going to hit the pavement. (I really like the sound of the phrase "hit the pavement," by the way.) I go to sleep planning my runs and when I wake up, I plan other things for the day, but I work out in my head when I am going to run.

I'm really discouraged about my running right now. I know that I can complete 1000 miles in a year, easily. I'll probably finish it before I have to. This all assumes that I will be able to stop feeling so discouraged and that I will start to enjoy running more. Right now, I have days that I really like to run, but other times, I really hate it. Today was a day that I really hated running. I probably should not have even run today, because I am so busy on Mondays, but I did. I was behind on my mileage from last week, so today I decided to continue trying to catch up today. I'm going to have to work out a routine, though, because I am absolutely exhausted.

I really want to sign up for a race so that I have a short term goal in mind. I just have not run one by myself yet, and I'm a little worried about traveling and lodging by myself. That's something that I'm just going to have to get over. Maybe I'll find some other running friends, too. My mom & roommate run with me, but it looks like it is getting difficult to convince them to do as many races as I would like. I will figure something out.

Goal: 1000 miles/365 days
So far: 131.13 miles/65 days
To go: 868.87 miles/300 days

1 comment:

  1. I just wish that the races were free or donation only because then I would certainly participate in more of them with you. That's the main problem. Just all the costs. I really enjoyed the two races I've done with you thus far and also training with you. Mondays are tough days for you for sure. Hopefully it will get a little better to run when the temps are above freezing you know. B/c it's more motivating to run outside and it sucks when it gets dark so quickly and when it's so cold....

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