Monday, June 6, 2011

beyond ambitious

 I just got back from the gym. I had a training session that went pretty well. It was legs, which is usually really tough. Since my legs are the weakest part of my body, my work out was tough. It gets sort of embarassing when my trainer asks me to do a certain exercise and my legs start shaking uncontrollable. I do wish that I had a little more strength in my legs so that I wouldn't have to deal with my legs shaking like that. It's obvious that my muscles need a lot more work.

The workout went pretty well, which was great. I did struggle quite a bit, but was able to push through and complete all of the exercises. I can definitely sense changes within myself while I have been doing these sessions and while I've been exercising on my own, but I wish that changes happened sooner. Hell, I wish that I could wake up in the morning and have the exact body that I want. I have to work at it, though. The most unfortunate part of it all is that it takes such an extravagant amount of time and work. It's not like I can just dedicate all of my time every day to exercise. It's sort of unfortunate, honestly.

I have been working really hard on my body strength. Every day, I've exercised for at least 20 minutes. I'm so glad that I have stuck to this change in my life. It would have been so easy for me to have given up and stopped all of this, especially after all of the frustration from the inability to continue running. I am SO frustrated that I haven't been able to run lately. So. Frustrated. Actually, to the point that it feels like all I ever talk about in this blog is my sprained ankle, wah wah wah. I could have just given up and spent my time laying around, but I haven't. I'm glad with the changes that I have made. I'm also glad that I'm healing a little bit. I'm so looking forward to getting out there and running regularly again.

I'm definitely working on my time management skills. Today is a prime example. I've been trying to find ways to use every free minute to it's fullest extent. Today, I got up, read some news online while I got dressed, then went to work. I was scheduled until 5:15, but was able to get done about 30 minutes early, so I got to hurry home for my training session. I got home, got dressed, and left within just a little bit of time. I was a little late to my training session, which I was disappointed in, but I'm at least fortunate that I got there and got to work out. Like I said before, my legs were literally shaking at the end of the work out. I know that means that I'm pushing my boundaries and I KNOW that's positive. It's just really tough sometimes, because I want to see changes in me, but they are coming slowly. I'm possibly one of the most impatient people that I know. Quite possibly. I just wish I could have a few extra hours in the day in order to effectively manage my time, in order to reach more of my goals.

I feel that I'm a goal oriented person. Today, though, I've wondered if I've set my sights too high. Maybe my goals are unreachable. Goodness, I hope not. I want to be athletic. I want to run more marathons. I want to be Boston Qualified. I dream of being a certified SCUBA diver, a triathlete, maybe a personal trainer. I want to write novels, to be a professor, to make a difference. I want to organize events for epilepsy awareness.

I hope that one day I can reach all of these goals and more. I want to make a difference in the world. That had been my dream for my entire life. I know that I can reach it. I just have to continue to push myself as hard as I can. There is no option. If I do my best, work my hardest, there is no option but success... at least at some point in the future.

1 comment:

  1. Hey. I'm proud of what you are accomplishing and how hard you are working. I know one issue is how we do not eat as well as we could. I know it is motivating to watch those weight loss shows but probably a little disheartening to not be losing as fast as the people workign out hours a day with dietitions and trainers but you are doing it the way real people have to do it.

    I really like this post because of the goals. I love them. As long as you don't put a date on them I believe you could achieve all of them. Now if you say but next year such and may be harder. I think you can get so much accomplished in your life. you have already lived through a lot and accomplished a lot. I love you!