Thursday, December 11, 2014

five random thoughts.

1. So, I joined a gym a couple of weeks ago. It was something that I was debating about, something that I wasn't 100% sure about, because I knew how much I lack at self-motivation. By paying for this membership, I would have to force myself to actually go, or else I'd be throwing my hard earned money down the drain, towards nothing. So, I've been going.

I miss working out with my personal trainer in Florida a lot. It might be a self-conscious thing, because I do know what I am doing in the gym. (Mark did teach me a LOT over the years.) The thing is, when I'm there, actually doing it, it makes me nervous to actually legitimately lift weights... even though I know that I know what I'm doing. So today, I did some dead lifts. I felt weird about it, but I did it. I think it was the first step in the process.

I'm also thinking about doing some fitness classes, too. I have a list of classes for the month of December, I just have to pick some out and go.

(I also desperately need to get myself in the pool. I miss lap swimming more than anything. That's my real cardio love. Even though I run all of the time, swimming is my true love.)

2. I'm getting to know myself again. When I lived in Florida, I was always busy. I worked multiple jobs, worked out a lot, and was social with my free time. Some days, I was so exhausted that I would fall asleep on the futon watching a movie with my roommate. (On that note, I still haven't seen the entire Silver Linings Playbook. Sorry Kath.)

So, I've been stepping out of my comfort zone and not allowing myself to work two jobs for as long as I'm in Indiana. I've been spending time with friends and family.. and have been going to the gym for the last few weeks. That has been very important. It has been tough, though, because I'm used to always doing something. I'm used to being busy.

But, I've been reading, writing, thinking about the future, and processing the present.. and it has been good. I'm remembering things that I love, things that I've stopped doing. (like the writing thing.)

I've had the idea to start a photography business. I remember how much I loved photography when I took classes in high school. I wouldn't make it my main source of income, but I may invest in a dslr after Christmas and do some photography around town.

(starting with my mom's engagement photos. no, mom, I haven't forgotten you.)

So, by getting to know myself, by giving myself that time, I'm getting excited for the adventures that lie ahead for me. I feel like I have some good opportunities ahead, I just have to make some decisions. I'm pretty fortunate in that sense.

3. My friend Latefa moved back, too. I'm actually pretty excited about this one. I came back to Indiana, knowing that most of my friends had left and the ones that were still in the same state were definitely not in the same town... then, one day, I got a text when I was out on a run that said, "I'm home!"

After a confusing conversation, I realized that my friend had moved back, too. She didn't tell anybody that she was coming, so she blew me (and her family) out of the water. She moved away several years ago, too, so we had not gotten to have real time together in a very long time. She has jumped right onto my adventuring ideas, though, and we have had a good time.

We've talked a lot about the future and about traveling together, so maybe that will happen eventually.. We went to France together in high school, which was incredible. Now we both want to go to all of the places. It is fun to have a friend with that kind of a mindset, too. I'm very thankful to have her in town.

(even though I think my grandma likes her better than she likes me!)

4. November was a half-success. I didn't succeed at the National Novel Writing part.. life kind of got in the way. (again.) I am a little disappointed in that, but I know that I will eventually get my writing out there. I did write some really powerful pieces about my state of mind, so I'm glad with that. I may try to get one or two published.

I did really put it out there with my Epilepsy Awareness Month personal campaign. For the past few years, I've only talked about it on the internet, through my various social media platforms. This year, though, I was able to talk about my journey with people in person. I am much less inhibited about the issue than I have been in the past. Over the years, I've just become more comfortable with explaining epilepsy to other people, whether it be my own story, or the stories of other people that I know. I think that is important.

I'm excited to keep educating people. I hope that, eventually, I can share it on an even bigger platform that I can right now. I'm working towards that. It's a pretty big deal.

5. I'm excited for the next month or so. My best friend is coming to town for a week and a half or so pretty soon. I can't wait to have some Indiana adventures with her. (and to spend some time with my second family.)

I also have the Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend coming up in a month. I'm already freaking out a little bit. I don't feel ready, and I know that I'm not ready, but I'm working towards it. I won't PR again, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed to have a great time. (because, I usually do.) I'm also very excited to see my Orlando friends that I miss so much. I won't be there for long, but it will be wonderful to have that time with them. I do want to scoop them all up and bring them with me on the rest of my adventures.

Then, there's also Christmas. I love Christmas.  I'm a complete Christmas fanatic, I love giving gifts, I love decorating, I love the family time... it's one of my favorite things. I also love going to Christmas Eve Mass. Oh man. I'm very glad that I am in town and that I will get to enjoy all of these thing with my family. If there is nothing else that I learned from living out of state for so many years, it's how precious it is to spend the holidays with family. I'm very excited for this year.

(even though I have to work. it will be wonderful. love love.)

and here's a photo for photo's sake.
this is from October, going to play in the woods with my special two year old nuggetty-cousin.

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