I feel like I have been so exhausted lately that I haven't had much to say in this blog. It's awful. I've been so busy managing school, work, and running and combining it with looking for a "real" job that I just haven't had time to think through my thoughts, let alone write them down. However, here I am, trying my hardest to put my thoughts into words.
I was in a car accident on the way to work on Monday. It was fairly minor, but it was my fault and I feel like an idiot. I wasn't paying attention for a second. That's all it takes. I'm an intelligent enough person to k now that I need to do better... and be better. I'm a little disgusted with myself. ..that's life though. I'll move on and things will get better.
Today, I opened at work, then worked 7-4:30. On my way home, I was exhausted. I didn't want to run, but I knew that I had to. I knew that I needed to stick to the training plan. Chicago is just a few weeks away and I want to do the best that I can.
So Kath and I did a 10 miler today. It got dark in the middle of it, which was good and bad. Unfortunately, the path we run on is not well lit, so we had to do a few laps around out apartment complex. (That is NOT my favorite thing to do, by the way.) I think I need a headlamp for night runs. For real. It was nice and cool out, though, which was fantastic! I'm very excited about the weather!!
I'm toying with the idea of going to the gym to get my 4 miler in after class. I will open at work again, then will go straight to class.. so I would be on campus anyways. I just really don't like treadmill running at all. It would be nice to get it done, though... I don't know. We'll see what I decide.
So that's it. Oh! I've hit 600 miles for the year! Yeaaaaaaaah!!! I'm getting closer and closer to my goal.
(I am in the 300s left toward my goal!)
Goal: 1000 miles/366 days
So far: 602.51 miles/256 days
To go: 397.49 miles/110 days
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Friday, June 17, 2011
hugeeee breakthrough at the gym.
Today and yesterday, I killed it in the gym. No joke. In fact, you could say I had a breakthrough yesterday that carried over into today.
Yesterday, I had a rough day. Actually, I had a rough week for many reasons... including school, work, being away from my family when family members were very ill, and so on. My stress level was pretty much through the roof. But, I agreed to meet Mark, my trainer, at the gym for a session before my class.
The first thing that he said that we were going to do was the stairmaster for 20 minutes. Then he proceeded to tell me that he didn't think that I'd be able to do it for the entire 20 minutes. I'm a stubborn person, actually. Sometimes, I will go out of my way to prove that I can do something that I've been told I can't or shouldn't be able to do (like move to Florida. ha.). Actually, he went on to say that most of his clients could only do 8-10 minutes on the stair master maximum.
When I got to about 12 or 13 minutes, I didn't think that I would be able to do it. I had almost given up on myself, but for some reason I didn't. At any point, I could have hopped right off of the machine. Actually, I got really mad that Mark didn't stop the machine for me so I could quit. Somehow, I pushed through it. Sweat was coming out of every pore of my body. I had sweat puddles in my hands. That's disgusting actually. That was probably my second biggest exercise related breakthrough that I have had. Ever. Second to Goofy's Challenge in January.
I have so many goals in my life that I don't want to cut short due to obesity. Knowing that obesity has become such an American epidemic, it scares the hell out of me.. knowing that I was close to 200 pounds a few years ago... scares the hell out of me, too. I feel like I'm still fighting my weight and I am. Every day, I have to choose between whether to drink a liter of Mountain Dew or to fill up my water bottle for the day. Between Kath and I, we go through 8 gallons of water in about a week and a half. That's a lot of water. It's a struggle making healthy decisions every day of my life. Actually, there are so many times that I don't make a good decision and it's frustrating. I try to pick myself up and keep going though.
That's what kept me going on the stairmaster. Actually, it was that and thinking about my uncle who was hospitalized for an extremely high blood sugar and a new diagnosis of diabetes. I've always wanted to inspire people. I've wanted to make a difference. Maybe if I keep going, I will continue to inspire people to change their lives. I have so much knowledge that I can share. I'd love it if my entire family could live the healthiest that is possible for them. I'm not saying that it's in the cards for everyone I know to become vegan, but everyone has little changes that can be made. It is for sure a possibility.
I also learned that my little brother wants to run a marathon and that he even bought running shoes. I'm ecstatic for him. It would be so cool to run a race with my mom and all three of my siblings someday. I hope it's in the cards.
Yesterday, I had a rough day. Actually, I had a rough week for many reasons... including school, work, being away from my family when family members were very ill, and so on. My stress level was pretty much through the roof. But, I agreed to meet Mark, my trainer, at the gym for a session before my class.
The first thing that he said that we were going to do was the stairmaster for 20 minutes. Then he proceeded to tell me that he didn't think that I'd be able to do it for the entire 20 minutes. I'm a stubborn person, actually. Sometimes, I will go out of my way to prove that I can do something that I've been told I can't or shouldn't be able to do (like move to Florida. ha.). Actually, he went on to say that most of his clients could only do 8-10 minutes on the stair master maximum.
When I got to about 12 or 13 minutes, I didn't think that I would be able to do it. I had almost given up on myself, but for some reason I didn't. At any point, I could have hopped right off of the machine. Actually, I got really mad that Mark didn't stop the machine for me so I could quit. Somehow, I pushed through it. Sweat was coming out of every pore of my body. I had sweat puddles in my hands. That's disgusting actually. That was probably my second biggest exercise related breakthrough that I have had. Ever. Second to Goofy's Challenge in January.
I have so many goals in my life that I don't want to cut short due to obesity. Knowing that obesity has become such an American epidemic, it scares the hell out of me.. knowing that I was close to 200 pounds a few years ago... scares the hell out of me, too. I feel like I'm still fighting my weight and I am. Every day, I have to choose between whether to drink a liter of Mountain Dew or to fill up my water bottle for the day. Between Kath and I, we go through 8 gallons of water in about a week and a half. That's a lot of water. It's a struggle making healthy decisions every day of my life. Actually, there are so many times that I don't make a good decision and it's frustrating. I try to pick myself up and keep going though.
That's what kept me going on the stairmaster. Actually, it was that and thinking about my uncle who was hospitalized for an extremely high blood sugar and a new diagnosis of diabetes. I've always wanted to inspire people. I've wanted to make a difference. Maybe if I keep going, I will continue to inspire people to change their lives. I have so much knowledge that I can share. I'd love it if my entire family could live the healthiest that is possible for them. I'm not saying that it's in the cards for everyone I know to become vegan, but everyone has little changes that can be made. It is for sure a possibility.
I also learned that my little brother wants to run a marathon and that he even bought running shoes. I'm ecstatic for him. It would be so cool to run a race with my mom and all three of my siblings someday. I hope it's in the cards.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Big dreamers can do big things.
I didn't participate in National Running Day like I intended to. Frankly, I am disappointed in myself. I feel like there was more that I could have done to really commemorate the day. My original intention was to go to the gym. Little did I know that my book for class would be a pain in the rear to get ahold of and I had to stay home until the mail came in order to get it and read it before class (yeah.... and it won't even be here until tomorrow anyways. Ugh!!). That excuse is sort of lame. So, I decided to either go to the gym in the morning and come back to study for my quiz [that ended up being postponed] or to just run-walk [i am still trying to allow my ankle maximum healing time] outside for an hour or so in between studying. I ended up pretty much deciding just to run outside for a while nad do some weight training in my apartment in order to save maximum time.
So. I got up, read a little bit, had my vitamins, grabbed some breakfast and a big water bottle, and sat down at my computer to start my school work. About 20 minutes into that, I heard rain. I looked out the window and it was pouring. So, I figured I'd give it an hour and the rain would stop. Then, I heard that it was thundering... then I was reading the news and saw that there were bad storms coming through. So frustrating. Then the ankle pain started.... Needless to say, I didn't make it outside and I didn't make it to the gym. I'm for sure frustrated with myself for not going, because, although some of it was out of my control, I could have made some changes and done some things differently in order to ensure that I ran today, but I didn't. I am trying to take it easy on my ankle, though, because I do want to run again someday. It wouldn't be worth it to push myself too hard and never be able to run again. That would suck.
I am still doing my daily workouts though. I have a little over two weeks left of my month of daily work outs. It was a goal that I set for myself after I read someone else's blog in which they set a goal for a month for themselves. I think that it's an interesting idea to try to change yourself by making a fairly short term goal. I think that it opens a lot of possibilities for learning and changing. After this month is up, I will probably try to continue working out at least a little bit daily, but also adding another month long goal. I haven't really decided what my next goal will be, though. I have a few weeks to think about it though, I suppose.
I do still feel fairly optimistic. I was talking to a girl that I've had in some classes today about fitness, because she said she felt inspired by me when I talked about running Goofy's Challenge in class.. and she was so inspired that she'd decided to do a 5k this summer. Hearing things like that really are touching and inspiring for me. I feel like if I can inspire her in that way, I definitely can do huge things like I have wanted to do since I was a child. I have always dreamed of being huge: a novelist, President, an athlete, and so on and so forth. I already have felt like I can do big things in life, but actually hearing that I've had an influence in that way is a really positive thing for me. I definitely want to continue to be able to inspire people. Anyways, I told her about some of my other goals and relayed my frustrationgs with my ankle, which was cool for me. I don't really feel like I ahve a ton of people that I can talk about fitness with like that, so that was really neat for me. I am glad that I got to have that conversation. I feel like I should be able to reach for a triathlon and reach for completing Boston someday.
I do dream big don't I? But, how else is there to dream? I have to be able to have huge dreams in order to achieve big things. All I've ever wanted was to make changes in the world. I know that I can do it. I just have to reach for it and push myself to my limit and beyond.
So. I got up, read a little bit, had my vitamins, grabbed some breakfast and a big water bottle, and sat down at my computer to start my school work. About 20 minutes into that, I heard rain. I looked out the window and it was pouring. So, I figured I'd give it an hour and the rain would stop. Then, I heard that it was thundering... then I was reading the news and saw that there were bad storms coming through. So frustrating. Then the ankle pain started.... Needless to say, I didn't make it outside and I didn't make it to the gym. I'm for sure frustrated with myself for not going, because, although some of it was out of my control, I could have made some changes and done some things differently in order to ensure that I ran today, but I didn't. I am trying to take it easy on my ankle, though, because I do want to run again someday. It wouldn't be worth it to push myself too hard and never be able to run again. That would suck.
I am still doing my daily workouts though. I have a little over two weeks left of my month of daily work outs. It was a goal that I set for myself after I read someone else's blog in which they set a goal for a month for themselves. I think that it's an interesting idea to try to change yourself by making a fairly short term goal. I think that it opens a lot of possibilities for learning and changing. After this month is up, I will probably try to continue working out at least a little bit daily, but also adding another month long goal. I haven't really decided what my next goal will be, though. I have a few weeks to think about it though, I suppose.
I do still feel fairly optimistic. I was talking to a girl that I've had in some classes today about fitness, because she said she felt inspired by me when I talked about running Goofy's Challenge in class.. and she was so inspired that she'd decided to do a 5k this summer. Hearing things like that really are touching and inspiring for me. I feel like if I can inspire her in that way, I definitely can do huge things like I have wanted to do since I was a child. I have always dreamed of being huge: a novelist, President, an athlete, and so on and so forth. I already have felt like I can do big things in life, but actually hearing that I've had an influence in that way is a really positive thing for me. I definitely want to continue to be able to inspire people. Anyways, I told her about some of my other goals and relayed my frustrationgs with my ankle, which was cool for me. I don't really feel like I ahve a ton of people that I can talk about fitness with like that, so that was really neat for me. I am glad that I got to have that conversation. I feel like I should be able to reach for a triathlon and reach for completing Boston someday.
I do dream big don't I? But, how else is there to dream? I have to be able to have huge dreams in order to achieve big things. All I've ever wanted was to make changes in the world. I know that I can do it. I just have to reach for it and push myself to my limit and beyond.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
at a turning point.... or a crossroads. if you will.
Goodness. Today, I'm exhausted.
I had a fantastic workout tonight. My day was somewhat... not great. Frustrating and whatever, but I felt like I was able to put a lot of my negativity into my work out. I did a lot of core exercises tonight- planks, crunches, and so on. My abs are definitely feeling a burn, which I am FOR SURE excited about. I do wish I wasn't so exhausted when I came home from work, though, because I feel like I want to be able to incorporate other exercises into my work outs- like different wii activities and whatnot, but it's hard when I'm already exhausted when I walk in the door. Somehow, I am going to need to catch up on sleep and stop being stressed out. (yeah. I wish.)
I'm excited for three days off of work this week. I only have two more days to work and then some time off! Yipee! (though, I'm going to have a ton of studying to do, I'm not thinking about that right now. I'm going to try to focus on all of the positives.) I wish that I had a job with my degree, because I am worn out what what I am doing. However, it's tough to find something that I really want to do while I'm working on my Masters WHILE I am school.
I'm going to try running again on Wednesday. I know my ankle isn't 100%. I know that it might do more damage than good. But Wednesday is National Running Day and I just really feel motivated to run. I'll probably do it at the gym on the treadmill and I will definitely incorporate a lot of walking. It's actually pretty unlikely that I will get many miles in. However, I really just want to start running again. I feel like if my ankle gets too bad, I will for sure have to make some sort of a change- like getting my crutches out again or going to see a doctor again. I'm not that excited about that possibility.
I do feel like I'm turning a page in my life. I'm dealing with a lot of negativity and frustration, but at the same time, I feel like I'm doing a lot of good. I'm making positive changes and trying my best to get myself to a point that I want to be. I have a pile of books about things that I think will help me along this path- books about running, races, triathlons, fitness, health- and other things, like politics haha. I'm trying to be well rounded. I feel like I'm taking the right steps, though it is extremely difficult to get to the point that I want to be at. I never expected it to be this hard. My life is definitely no fairy tale.
It takes a lot of hard work....
I had a fantastic workout tonight. My day was somewhat... not great. Frustrating and whatever, but I felt like I was able to put a lot of my negativity into my work out. I did a lot of core exercises tonight- planks, crunches, and so on. My abs are definitely feeling a burn, which I am FOR SURE excited about. I do wish I wasn't so exhausted when I came home from work, though, because I feel like I want to be able to incorporate other exercises into my work outs- like different wii activities and whatnot, but it's hard when I'm already exhausted when I walk in the door. Somehow, I am going to need to catch up on sleep and stop being stressed out. (yeah. I wish.)
I'm excited for three days off of work this week. I only have two more days to work and then some time off! Yipee! (though, I'm going to have a ton of studying to do, I'm not thinking about that right now. I'm going to try to focus on all of the positives.) I wish that I had a job with my degree, because I am worn out what what I am doing. However, it's tough to find something that I really want to do while I'm working on my Masters WHILE I am school.
I'm going to try running again on Wednesday. I know my ankle isn't 100%. I know that it might do more damage than good. But Wednesday is National Running Day and I just really feel motivated to run. I'll probably do it at the gym on the treadmill and I will definitely incorporate a lot of walking. It's actually pretty unlikely that I will get many miles in. However, I really just want to start running again. I feel like if my ankle gets too bad, I will for sure have to make some sort of a change- like getting my crutches out again or going to see a doctor again. I'm not that excited about that possibility.
I do feel like I'm turning a page in my life. I'm dealing with a lot of negativity and frustration, but at the same time, I feel like I'm doing a lot of good. I'm making positive changes and trying my best to get myself to a point that I want to be. I have a pile of books about things that I think will help me along this path- books about running, races, triathlons, fitness, health- and other things, like politics haha. I'm trying to be well rounded. I feel like I'm taking the right steps, though it is extremely difficult to get to the point that I want to be at. I never expected it to be this hard. My life is definitely no fairy tale.
It takes a lot of hard work....
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